THE ILLUSTRIOUS GRAND POOKA is, ain't and may possibly be described/prescribed as the following, use only as directed:

(1)a Walking ENCYCLOPEDIA of Temptingly USELESS INFORMATION, Specializing in ANCIENT, FORGOTTEN, and FORBIDDEN Knowledge.

(2)Crisis Management: KARMA POLICE BOX. Advice and Assistance Available Immediately, Pull to Open.

(3)ASTROLOGICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE, DUTCH MASTER GEOMANCER, PERFORMANCE ARTISTE, PRACTITIONER of TAOIST MEDICINE; ONE-STOP HOLISTIC-ERISTIC HANDYMAN and CUNNING LINGUIST to boot!

The various CRITICS have spoken, ENRAGED: "ORACLE!", "HARBINGER!", SCAPEGOAT!", "DOJO YOYO!" and "COUCH NIGGA!"

[NOT from the lips of the whiskery one himself: 'OH, great altar of passive entertainment ...bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!']

The Illustrous Grand Pooka registers an interest in the following areas of knowledge and experience: Archaeoastronomy, Ethnonumerology, Neurolinguistics, Astropsychology, Cryptoanthropology, Exopsychology, Xenoarchaeology, Gnosis, Ashé, Shen, Jing, Kundalini, Cutey-Pies, Prana, Mana, Ruah, Aether, Orgone, Quintessence, The Bardo, Jedi Mind Tricks, Block-Transfer Memory in Cerebro-Spinal Fluid suspensions, Aroma and Hydrotherapy, Reflexology, Homeopathy, Naturopathy, Iridology, Feng Shui, Shiatsu, Qi Gong, and Astrology.

His hobbies are alleged to include polynomial system tools like I-Ching coins, Pooka shells For Diloggun, Qabbalah popsicles, Bagua and Luopan Compasses, Tarot decks, Runes, Cartouches, Tzolkin And Haab Calendars.

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