The migraines, they kill me. So my new doctor scheduled me to have a brain MRI today. You would think that would innocent enough, right? If you weren't me it probably would be. However, you are not me.

I'm not skittish about MRIs. I have had plenty for my back problems. When I learned I needed one for my head I thought it would be no big deal. Then I started thinking of all those MRI brain scans my friend sends me from the Eide Neurolearning Blog. They show how different parts of your brain light up depending on what you're thinking about or doing or thinking about doing.

Then I thought about how I read an article about a "scientist" who took brain scans of a man and woman while in coitus (1-see why I put scientist in quotes? 2-I figure "coitus" is too big a word for most pervs to search).

Then I think, "Oh no! I'm thinking about sex! I should stop so it doesn't show up on the scan! Think puppies! Puppies, dammit!"

Then I realize I'm thinking of sex and puppies and that just can't be good.

"Uh, yes Mrs. Chilihead. We see that you don't have a brain tumor; you're just a pervert."