Readers were asked to come up with the world's third - biggest lie -- right after "The cheque is in the mail" and "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you." Here is a sampling from the thousands we received:

• "It's a good thing you came in today. We only have two more in stock."




• "Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height."




• "You made it yourself? I never would have guessed."




• "Of course I'll respect you in the morning."




• "You don't look a day over 40."




• "Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study."




• "It's delicious, but I can't eat another bite."




• "The new ownership won't affect you. The company will remain the same."




• "Your hair looks just fine."




• "Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there."




• "You don't need it in writing. You have my personal guarantee."




• "Squiffy, don't listen to them. Your jokes ARE funny. Signed: God."