I have added several videos involving Orson Mozes and Adoption International Program. This is the same agency we used to adopt our son. Many families did not come home with children at all. In fact we have learned that only 40% of Orson's clients did actually come home with a child. We of course feel extremely blessed that we are one of the families in that 40%. Our hearts go out to all the families who still remain without a child after falling victim to this man.

Although we brought home a child it does not mean that we were not victims of his scam. We were indeed victims as well. We too were promised a child that was never to be ours. Orson promised us that he would have a certain boy held for us and that the only way we would not adopt him would be if someone from his bioligical family returned for him. After nine months of believing this boy was ours we were told he was no longer available. It was not his bioligical family who came for him but instead another family from here in the US who traveled to Kazakhstan to adopt. (I have no hard feelings toward this family and in fact have spoken with them and I know they are wonderful people and an amazing family for this boy) They adopted this child 5 MONTHS before Orson would tell us that he was no longer available.

There were many other illegal and immoral practices of AIP and Orson Mozes that we were victim too, but that is a story fo another day.

Please watch the videos and if you recognize Orson Mozes PLEASE, PLEASE report his whereabouts to the authorities.

My sweet, beautiful baby boy has been home with us for one year now. Amazing!

It doesn't feel like it has been a year already... and yet, it feels as though he has been my child for much longer. It's hard to believe sometimes that he has not been with us his whole life.

One year ago a scrawny, frightened boy took 4 long flights to a new country and a new family. He barely slept that first night home and cried if his daddy was more than an arms length away. My husband and I lay next to our son and stroked his hair coaxing him to sleep and then just lay and watched him sleeping. It took nearly a year and a half to get to that moment. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life and one that will always be etched in my memory.

Now a very sturdy (and hefty), confident boy runs through our house. And to tell the truth he really runs the house... King of his domain.

What a difference a year makes!

Why did I chose to call myself The Bitter Queen?

Through my life I have had many things happen that made me bitter. There was nothing that added to my bitterness more than what I am about to share with you though.

After the birth of my second child, my (then) husband and I made the decision that we did not want any more children. For me that decision was based on the fact that I really did not want any more children with HIM rather than actually not wanting more children.

I loved (still love) my kids more than anything or anyone ever in my life. Being their mother was the best thing I had ever experienced.

As much as I loved being a mom, I knew that having any more children with their father was not a good idea. When I got pregnant with our son (our 2nd child) he was not happy. It was perfectly clear that he did not want more children. He was a very good father to our daughter so this revelation came as a very big surprise. I knew that a 3rd child with him would really not be a good idea. After the birth of my son, I had my tubes tied.

For reasons I now look back on and shake my head at for my stupidity... I had no plans to leave this man. Luckily, my point of view on that changed and I did eventually leave.

I later met a very wonderful man and although I had no plans to fall in love and get married... well, life is not really run by our plans is it? I did fall in love and a year later we were married.

My husband is an incredible man and more than that, he is an incredible father to my kids. He treated his step children as though they were his own (ya, he still does). They were just as in love with him as he was with them. Watching him with my son and daughter I knew that I wanted more children with this man.

This is where the bitterness really took hold. My ex-husband, the one who actually did not want children was now completely capable of having more kids. I was not!

My husband and I had briefly discussed the idea of tubal ligation reversal. The subject would occasionally come up as the years went by. We never really talked seriously about it. For some reason it never felt right.

At the beginning of 2006, as we were half way through our 4th year of marriage, I again felt the desire to have a child with my wonderful husband. The feeling was stronger than it had ever been. Still, the idea of the tubal reversal did not feel right. That is when I began to explore the idea of adoption.

After researching adoption for about a week I was ready to bring the idea up to my husband. I wondered what he would think. How he would react. I knew that he had been everything a father should be and more for my kids and they were not biologically his. I knew in my heart that such things as DNA did not matter to him. Still I did not know how he would react to the suggestion of adoption.

One night as we lay down in our bed I told him that I wanted a baby. He simply looked at me. I told him then that I would like for us to adopt one. He pulled me close in a tight hug and kissed me. "I love you" he said, "and I love you even more for suggesting this". A decision was made. We were going to adopt.

I had let the fact that my ex could have more children when I could not make me bitter for years. Suddenly with this one decision I realized that I was bitter over nothing. My love for my children and my love of being a mom helped me to find what I really needed. Another biological child was not the path that was meant for me. Instead I was to journey around the world to a country I had never heard of before to find the last piece of my heart waiting for me in an orphanage.

So, the name? The Bitter Queen? What better reminder that the things that make us bitter are often the things that lead us down the path where we belong!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
   Wrapping paper. It is much more fun to tear into a wrapped package than it is to just open a bag




2. Real or Artificial tree?
   Artificial. I don't like the mess of a real tree. Plus there are too many issues with allergies in our home.




3. When do you put up the tree?
   Whenever we find the time and ALL of us are actually home. We try to do it soon after Thanksgiving. My husband wanted to put it up before Thanksgiving last year because we were having people over and he wanted them to see it. I convinced him it was NOT supposed to be up yet and it would also take up room we needed for our guests. (he loves this holiday more than anyone i have ever met, he gets more excited than the kids)




4. When do you take the tree down?
   
   You're supposed to take it down??? Really??? My family seems to think it vanishes on it's own! I usually take it down (by myself) about half way through January when I have finally given up on anyone helping and I just can't stand looking at it anymore.




5. Do you like Eggnog?
   
   Ummm... I have never actually tasted it. I am guessing that I would not based on the words "egg" and "nog"!




6. Favorite Gift you received as a child?
   My Whoopsie Doll I got when I was six. You squeezed her tummy and her little pigtails flew up in the air. I asked for that doll for months!




7. Do you have a nativity scene?
   
   no, but i want one




8. Hardest person to buy for?
   
   my nephew. the kid snarls at almost anything he gets. i actually HATE to buy for him because of his attitude.




9. Easiest person to buy for?
   My daughter and the baby. My older son is at one of those "tween" ages this year, so he is tougher to buy for than usual.




10. Worst Christmas gift ever received?
    
    My ex bought me jeans that were 2 sizes too big. I guess he thought I was fat or something!




11. Christmas Cards...Snail mail or E-mail?
    Totally email. Who can afford postage these days?




12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
    A Christmas Story and Scrooged




13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
    Usually on Black Friday




14. Have you ever 'recycled' a Christmas present?
    
    I think so but only for an office gift exchange or something lame like that, not for family.




15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
    Rolls, deviled eggs and pecan pie. Pick just one? No way!




16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
    
    Colored. Right now we have just purple, blue and clear lights on the tree. I am tired of that though and next year we are going to switch back to multi-color lights.




17. Favorite Christmas Carol?
    The Nightingale Song (i HATE the song Christmas Shoes)




18. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home?
    Stay Home




19. Can you name Santa's Reindeer?
    
    Yes




20. Do you have an Angel or a Star on top of your tree? Angel




21. Open the Presents Christmas Eve or Morning?
    We each open one gift on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning.

22.Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
The song Christmas Shoes!!! OH... and the long lines.

1. Shopping...Mall or online?
   
   The mall? This time of year? NO WAY! I hate the mall all year long, but especially now. Some online and some department store.




2. Do you decorate outside for Christmas or just inside (or at all?)
   Both. I do the inside and my husband does the outside.




3. Favorite Christmas cookie?
   
   Frosted sugar cookies




4. Do you own Christmasy clothing or jewelry?
   Only pajamas.




5. Do you believe in Santa?
   
   I believe in myself.... So, yeah!

Okay, your turn!!!

How many friends have you "collected" here? I didn't realize just how many I had until yesterday. I viewed all my friends and was kind of dumbfounded (that is not an uncommon state for me to be in) by the numbers.

When did this happen? Who are some of these people? When did that person get added? Sad questions, all of them. Why do I have friends that I am not friendly with? This is not right.

So, I set out to visit each of my Cre8buzz friends. I left a message, viewed their pictures, read a post or two and even took time to check out a few blogs. Of course I ranked a few things. After I was done I felt so much better about myself.

I am not here just to collect people in my friends group. I am here to actually make some friends. I don't want to add a friend and never stop by to say hi or see what they have been up to. That's just not nice. If we were to do that in real life we would lose friends. So, why should we do that here?

So, to all my friends here... I will make an effort to come by and say hi sometimes. I will look at your new pictures and read your new posts, check out your cool new backgrounds and if I have time I may even pop over to your real blog.

Anyone want to be my friend? Just ask. I certainly don't want to turn down new friends. So, if it's your first time visiting my little page here... say hi and if you want to be friends just click the button.

If you ever see me in the chat room (which I highly recommend you visit if you really want to get to see someone's personality) pop in and see just how silly and weird I can get!

Welcome friends! Let's get to know each other.