* 1. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
* 2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
* 3. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
* 5. How do a fool and his money GET together?
* 6. How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
* 7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
* 8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
* 9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
* 10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
* 11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
* 12. If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter? 
* 14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
* 15. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
* 16. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
* 17. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
* 18. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
* 20. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
* 21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
* 22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
* 25. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
* 28. If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
* 29. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
* 30. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
* 32. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
* 33. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
* 34. How is it possible to have a civil war?
* 35. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
* 36. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* 37. If the 2 pencil is so popular, why is it still 2?
* 38. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
* 39. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
* 40. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
* 42. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
* 44. How can there be self-help "groups"?
* 47. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
* 45. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
* 46. How do you throw away a garbage can?
* 47. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
* 48. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
* 50. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
* 51. If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?
* 53. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
* 54. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* 55. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
* 56. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
* 57. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
* 58. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
* 60. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
* 61. How do you remove a club soda stain?
* 62. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
* 63. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
* 66. If a Turtle lost his shell, would he be Homeless or Naked?
* 67. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* 70. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
* 71. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
* 72. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
* 73. Why is it, when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open, it it's not a door?
* 74. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
* 75. Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
* 77. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
* 79. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
* 81. If all those phychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
* 82. Do married people really live longer that non-married people, or does it just seem longer?
* 83. Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?
* 84. War doesn't determine who's right. Just who's left. ![Starbucks IV](/user_files/0005/8358/starbucks-IV-1.jpg)