Jacqui: sighhhh Are we dair yet?

Ken: Pleeeeease stop asking that.

Me: She's just excited...

Jacqui: Dair's some snow Dad! Stawwwwwwp!!! Can we jess stop dair an' play?

Ken: No.

Jacqui: Why not?

Ken: Because.

Jacqui: 'Cause why?

Ken: We need a nice hill for the sled. We're not there yet.

Jacqui: I fink you need ta dwive fasser. Dis is takin' a reely very long time.

Ken: sigh Jacqui... just stop...

Jacqui: sigh Dis was posed to be zillerating, not zausting.

Me: What???

Jacqui: (scowling) I not sayin' it gain. You heered me.

Kyle: Ooooooo. Druck. Vrooooommm!!

Ken: (just before a very long hill) I think we're going the wrong way. I think we should have turned back there.

Jacqui: No! No turning! Dis is da very right way ta go! Up da hill Dad!

Ken: sigh Jacqui ... no more talking.

Jacqui. Hmmph! (muttering under her breath) Dis is too da right way...

Ken: I think we need to turn around...

Me: You're serious?

Ken: I think we were supposed to turn back there.

Me: The other road went back down.

Ken: I think it goes down and then back up.

Me: Sure. That's what one usually does when they are in search of high-altitude snow.

Ken: What?

Me: Go down and then back up.

Ken: (look of death while turning the car around)

Jacqui: No, no, noooooooo! Dis is da very wrong way!!! Go back dat way!

Ken: Jacqui! I said no more talking. I mean it.

Jacqui: (muttering while pulling Ken's cap over her eyes) I jess can't watch dis...

Me: (watching the snow get sparser) You're sure this is the way we're supposed to go?

Ken: (another look of death in my direction)

Me: Seems like we're just going down and not very much up...

Jacqui: I telled you... dis is da very wrong way. You needta go back dat way Dad!

Ken: Jacqui... enough already.

Jacqui: (more indiscernible muttering)

Me: (giggling)

Ken: (another look of death)

Kyle: Druck, druck, druck! Vrrrrrooooooom!!

Ken: Everyone just be quiet please!

Jacqui: (mumbling softly to herself in a sing-song-ey voice) Who do ya ask wen ya don' know which way ta go? Riiiiiiiiiiight... Da map! (begins singing "The Map Song" from "Dora The Explorer" in a whisper) ...I'm da map, I'm da map, I'm da map...

Me: (uncontrollable giggling)

Ken: (yet another look of death) Absolutely no blogging about this.

Me: (mock salute)

Ken: I mean it.

Me: (more giggling)

Ken: Ok. Hand me the map.

Me: Uhhh. Yeeeeah. About that...

Ken: Well?

Me: We don't have one.

Ken: What do you mean?

Me: Well, you remember when we bought the car the year before last?

Ken: Yeah...

Me: Remember how the glove box was empty except for the manual?

Ken: Yeah...

Me: Still is.

Ken: Still is what?

Me: Empty.

Ken: We never got a map?

Me: Well, actually we did. Last night when I was grocery shopping, as a matter of fact.

Ken: Well, where's that one?

Me: At home on the kitchen counter, I believe.

Ken: (another look of death)

Jacqui: Snow is dat way peeple!!

Ken: Jacqui!

Me: I think we should have stayed on the road we were on.

Ken: The resort was at milepost eighty something on highway 'X'.

Me: And we're on highway "Y"?

Ken: No. We're on highway "Z".

Jacqui: (mumbling) Oh, jess stop counting numbers... da snow is dat way...

Me: So if we're supposed to be on highway 'X', why are we on highway 'Z'?

Ken: sigh I think highway 'X' turns in to highway 'Z'.

Me: But you don't know?

Ken: (another look of death) Well, I would know if I had a map, wouldn't I?

Me: (sheepish grin)

Me: So do you think highway "Z" has turned into highway "X" yet?

Ken: (completely exasperated) I don't know.

Me: Well you said it was at milepost eighty-something. What milepost are we at now?

Ken: Gee. I don't know. It's a little hard to see those two-foot high milepost markers under four feet of snow.

Me: Oh. Yeah. Right.

Ken: (eye rolling).

Jacqui: (apparently gives up all hope and begins singing softly to herself a tune of her own creation) Dis da wrong way... da very wrong way... we never gonna get dair, dis a no snow day... wrong way... dis da wrong way...

Me: Ok. I think we've explored the downhill option long enough.

Ken: You think we should turn around?

Me: (rolling eyes) Uh... Yeah...

Ken: (turning car back around) Alright...

Jacqui: (peeking out from under Ken's cap) Well. At least we are driving da car to da mountain 'gain. Daddy? Will dair be enny snow left wen we get dair?

Ken: sigh

Finally reached our destination. Arrived mid-afternoon instead of mid-morning as planned. Kids had a ball. More to come in following posts - stay tuned!

Ken: (on the way back home) So I was thinking we should try taking highway 'Z' back home instead of highway 'X'.

Me: (look of death)