We've been counseled to keep the romance alive by continuing to date after we're married. We all agree that it's a good idea, and some of us even do it. But I don't think we see things quite the same way.

**Getting ready, from the wife's perspective . . .

She wakes up in the morning. Tonight is the night! They'll go out to dinner, linger over a delicious meal, maybe touch fingers across the creme brulee, and remember all the reasons why they fell in love. She gets out of bed, looking forward to the night out with her wonderful sweetheart, and as soon as she comes out of the bedroom, her eyes fall on a mess. And another mess. And another. She can't possibly have a babysitter over to see all this.

She makes breakfast (which no one will eat) and she starts to clean. And clean. And clean. The children aren't really helping -- rather, they're running around behind her, gleefully chuckling while throwing everything on the floor, again. She cleans the children's rooms, you know, the rooms that the children were supposed to clean, but they don't because they're ungrateful little creatures who don't understand how good they've got it. She cleans the bathroom, washes the dishes, sweeps the floor, vacuums the carpet, and dusts. At some point in there, the children get lunch, but she doesn't. She's got too much to do.

She makes dinner so the sitter doesn't have to, and she has a talk with the children. She tells them everything she expects of them, promises a reward if they're good and punishment if they're bad, she reminds them of the movies she let them pick out at Blockbuster to watch while the sitter is there, and then, only then, does she get in the shower.

Then she has to decide what to wear. What does she have that's a) clean b) flattering enough to make him fall in love with her all over again? She tries on outfits, realizes she's too fat to really look good in any of them, and goes with the last thing she put on, even though she's not completely happy with it.

She's dressed and ready to go, but she can't wear eye make-up because the toddler got into her mascera and rubbed it all over the wall, and you can't wear eye shadow without mascera. The sitter has arrived. She tells the sitter all the personality quirks of the children, she tells her that they've been fed, what they're allowed to do, what they're not allowed to do, gives emergency telephone numbers, negotiates a pay rate and a time to be home, and tells all the children goodbye.

**Getting ready, from the Husband's Perspective . . .

He gets home from work a little late, goes into the bedroom and changes his shirt, puts his wallet in his pocket, and he's ready to go.

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Is it just me, or is date night just a little more complicated for the wife than it is for the husband? And why, ladies, do we get so excited when he asks us out, knowing we'll have to go through that whole rigamarole? Because we love the big lugs, that's why.

This is a true story. However, in my husband's defense, he did help me finish up some last minute housework when he got home.