Come one, Come all! I am hosting the first ever Dapoppin's Creatively Bad Sentence Contest. Not to be confused with another contest which has thousands of entries each year and which is the source of several published books.

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for "The Last Days of Pompeii" (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword," and phrases like "the great unwashed" and "the almighty dollar," Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the "Peanuts" beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, "It was a dark and stormy night." ...(from website)

The Dapoppin's Creatively Bad Sentence Contest has even better rewards. In fact, the winner will have his or her choice of rewards! Can you believe that? Amazing, isn't it? A choice of scrapbook papers, and or unused scrapbook stickers or old scrapbook magazines OR...a five dollar gift certificate from PayPal. Yes, folks. I, the one and only, Dapoppin's, have decided to offer CASH MONEY! That is five, count'em, 5 dollars of cold, hard electronic cash! So worth the time and effort coming up with the best Creatively Bad Sentence.
What is the purpose of this contest? There is none. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Yes, maybe for a little bit it might increase my traffic, but being as I don't earn any money doing this, your visits do nothing more than make me spit up my coffee and spill my diet coke with guffaws and belly laughs. Indeed, entries will be judged on how loud I laugh and how much drink is spilled. (Do I need to add a disclaimer here? I may need to contact Mrs. BFF Legal-Advice-Letter-Writing-Advocate to write one for me.)
So trot out your adverbs, bring out your run-on sentences, show me some adjective, and write a sentence that blows my slippers across the room. Make it lovely poetry...make it the best dang sentence you have ever opened your never-written greatest American novel with. Just join the party so that I don't feel like Jane Austin trapped in an out house. Post your entries in the comments or leave a note so I know to look for them on your blog. Contest runs until Next Monday...so don't take too long thinking up your best most woderfulest sentence.