Over Lucky Charms and chocolate chip muffins (an oh-so-pathetic breakfast of champions) my seven-year-old charges and I discussed the importance of a healthy diet this morning (Read: I preached and prattled on about their horrendous addiction to sugar and all-things-junk-food-ish till I made myself weak and winded).

Good thing a cookie was nearby.

At any rate, I am ashamed to admit that neither of my twin cherries had a clue as to what the “Strive for Five” (fruits and veggies a day) mumbo-jumbo was all about. Not so much as an inkling. Oh, the horror! I ought to be flogged with asparagus or something.

Having failed as a mother (again), I felt it necessary to at least attempt to impart the correct information regarding this all-important matter of nutrition. “You know, Hon; you’re supposed to eat at least FIVE fruits and veggies a day to grow healthy and strong (and all that other happy horse shit), I explained as my cookie crumbled to the floor.

Silence. (Except for the sounds of juice being slurped and muffin chunks hitting the table). And the look I received, OMG, it was priceless. It was a marriage of utter shock and complete loathing for my existence.

“You’ve GOT to be kidding, Mom.”

“Nope.”

Still more silence…for what seemed an eternity.

“Gimmie a carrot then.”

Planet Mom: It’s where I live. Visit me there at www.notesfromplanetmom.com.

Copyright 2008 Melinda L. Wentzel