Any respectable woman will tell you that waxing your legs is one of the most painful endeavors you will ever experience (the inner thigh is pure torture). It’s bad enough we have to wax our eyebrows, others wax their mustache, and some wax their other stache. (this means vagina) but our legs are such a harsh and tedious task for what I feel is no better a result than taking a razor to your leg every three days. But after shaving your legs for what? 10 years so shaving becomes such a drag; like a bad dye job, or a great dress in a bad size.
So like any person who was looking for the quickest way to remove hair without shaving I went out and bought Nair. The neat kind that smells like chemical roses and comes out a girly pink color just to up the estrogen. I lathered the cool barbie corvette colored goo on my thighs and calves and sat there air pushing Mya away (not touching her but shooing her away from the ick. The menstrual mallow mommy). I know, I pick such glorious times to try to take care of myself. After the six or so minutes were up I wiped a little of my hair away. With stubble left I figured I would keep the potion on my gams little bit longer. Besides, what do instructions know? Instructions don’t know my body. I know.

So I went chasing Mya throughout the house .. ATTACK OF THE MENSTRUAL MALLOW MOMMY…. and in the middle of a big roooooaaaar and baby giggle something kicked in. This nair is burning the hell out of me!!! In a frantic rage I ran to the bathroom and saw nothing but tissue paper. I grab a ton (what an enabler!) and try to wipe the chemicals away. It’s not working. the nair is dry and causing a horrible reaction. My legs are going to be purple I know it, I just know it. Damn kids, this is what I get! attack of the mallow covered mommy? puh. What a crappy game. stupid stupid stupid.

I am almost in tears when I open the shower and splash myself.. fully clothed. I need relief. Soap them, pat them. Shoo the baby away. I feel like my skin may peel and Mya stands there giggling at my face. That little demon. All is well now, I have lathered them in Aloe and let them air dry. They are silky smooth, no stubble in sight. All in all, not bad at all ha.