I hate being right. i feel like i am right about a lot of things in this household. and most of the time it is the negative things…

hubby is actively seeking different employment but by actively seeking different employment he is actively working ten times harder at the job he currently has. i knew this would happen. that he would be gone from 8 to 9 all the time… the way he said it wouldn’t be this time around. i knew that he would get crazy about work. maybe that is what riles me up so much.. the fact that i was right when i wanted to be proved wrong.

i cut him slack so i dont want to hear any bullshit about letting him do what he has to do. my blog- my feelings.

i want nice things.i know you have to work to attain those things. i want a long dining room table and maybe even a chandelier to hang over it. red high heels and clean modern walls… vacations.. great glasses of wine.. maybe an Hermes scarf thrown in for kicks… and yes.. maybe even another child.. eventually. so i get it. i understand.

i even want a sports car. and by sports car i mean a jetta or better yet.. a prius. i want a good life, prosperous life. i don’t want to struggle.

but i am used to it.

my parents didn’t have money. they didn’t have a cabin in Michigan or live on a lake. my dad worked two jobs and my mom never bought a single thing. so NOT having money was never an issue for me. not having my dad there was.

so naturally i want mya’s father there more than i care what our savings account looks like.

unlike hubby, i dont live three months ahead… i live in the now.. without today there is no tomorrow. and the now is saying i want candlelight dinners. not to have hubby eating out of tupperware and mya already in bed when he arrives. the now me is saying that i want to be able to spend time with my husband not just an hour before he falls asleep. the now me is saying that i want time. time for us… because that time is neglected. and therefore… i feel neglected.

maybe i just dont see life revolving around a bank account. he sees it as apathy.

but maybe the age difference makes us see these things so differently. i still see it as “we have time to get the things we want”, hubby sees it as, ” we need this now”. Maybe he sees it as ” i had this once.. i want it again”. either way, it takes more than a few arguments for me to shift my entire ideology on the matter.

so why don’t we… for once.. cut ME some slack?