Large amounts of late-night (or VERY early-morning) pain can leave you feeling faint and nauseated.

When you feel like you're going to pass out, sit or lie down right where you are.

Don't walk 20 feet across hard ceramic tile to get to the couch.

Or when you faint on the way, you will fall flat on your face.

You’ll be fortunate if your son sees Mom lying still on the floor so he’ll run to fetch Dad.

In which case, you’ll wake up with your husband calling your name and your son looking down on you, pale with worry.

Broken noses bleed.

A lot.

Blood from your bleeding, broken nose, that drips into your stomach, won’t stay there.

Vomiting blood makes a broken nose bleed again.

Which sends more blood into the stomach.

Which will come back up, making the nose bleed yet again.

It’s a fun cycle.

Dried blood, snot from tears, and a swollen nose make for difficult breathing.

Lying around for three hours isn’t all that relaxing when it’s in an emergency room and you still feel faint.

And cold and shaky.

It’s a relief to get a normal EKG and find out that a heart condition is ruled out as a cause for fainting.

It’s also nice to discover that all the bloodwork checked out.

But it’s annoying to be discharged without any clue as to why you passed out and broke your nose in the first place, so your best guess is last night’s Texas-sized headache.

But heaven only knows what caused the headache.

Nurses and doctors will cheerfully inform you that in a couple of days, you’ll have two black eyes from bruising.

That’s not pleasant news when in five days you’re supposed to appear on a local television station to promote your new release and then later the same morning you’ll be schmoozing the staff at a local book chain with breakfast and a presentation about your book.

And finally:

Coming home to a houseful of worried children who fear for their mother is heartbreaking and joyous at the same time.

And a husband who holds down the fort for the rest of the day while you rest and recover is a hero.