Well, I am back. At least most of me that is. After a week of Lyme's Disease detox my brain seems to be somewhat mushy, if not missing completely.
Here's a re-cap of my fun week off of the computer:

Tuesday: 8:30am Being a great, responsible Mom, Wife and Mother, I take the movie rental back to Mr. Movies on the way to school in the morning so it is there before the dreaded 12noon late fee. Way to go Mom! I am so organized. I deserve a trophy. Get back home after going to both of the school drop-offs, remembered to bring Shelby in from the van with me...Things are going great. 9:00am the phone rings, it is Mr. Movies, It seems that it would be really nice if when you return your movies you would not just bring us back the empty case, we would like to have the movie back also, you know, the one that is in your DVD player.

Wednesday: Today I am going to be seriously organized. Have to leave for Mikayla's Youth Group at 4:30 pm, drop her off at 5pm, be home by 5:30pm, Dinner has to be done by 6pm. Leave for Awana that starts at 6:45pm. You get the picture. So, I put dinner in the crock pot at 11am. Super organized. Way to think ahead Mom. So around 4pm I check the crock pot....I don't seem to be smelling anything...Nope, all is fine. It is still set on High, not Low or Off. I go do my make-up. 4:30pm Jer gets home, I go check the crock-pot....Still on High setting, still smell nothing. Hmm. Look around me. Oh. The cord is laying on the counter, and is not plugged into the wall.

Thursday: I am a mother "on-time" for school today! Breakfast is done on time, everyone is brushing their teeth, all of the labeled water bottles are filled with water and ice. Ta Da. Time to go. Baby has her snack and Ba Ba. All is good! I am so happy. Pull out of the drive-way right on time at 8:15am. And I go to church.

22 Miles Per Hour

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... twenty-two miles an hour," the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" is the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... is everyone in this car OK? These ladies seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."

Dylan is walking around the Living Room throwing Goldfish crackers up into the air and catching them in his mouth.
Shelby has been watching him.
Shelby is now walking around the Living Room with her mouth hanging wide open and her head tipped up, looking at the ceiling.
She is not understanding why no fish are falling from the ceiling into her mouth.
I think she might be missing that first step.
:)

It is never good when your 20 month old runs out into the kitchen,
and you can see she is naked,
....And then she yells, "Poop" and points to the Living Room.

No details needed.

When Your Chiropractor is Running Late~
Don't go Last.
I did. And it was not a pleasant experience.
Let one of your kids go last, preferably the one who is being the naughtiest that day.

It is 4:00 the Big kids are getting off the bus.
Chiro appt. is at 4:20.
Must leave house by 4:10.
Quick feed the bigs a snack, change baby's diaper, make a bottle, make sure I have clothes on, get every one's shoes on, get in van by 4:10.
Whew! Did It.
Drive sanely to town.
Arrive by 4:20! Yeah Mom!
And then sit and wait.
You know it. Sit and wait.
Sit till 4:30 in Waiting Room.
Getting mad, I didn't need to rush so much.
Moved us to the exam room. All of us. 3 kids and one Mom are getting adjusted.
We have a 40 minute appt. reserved. 10 minutes for each of us.
That is 4 people x 10 minutes. At $50 a pop.
Sooo our appt. was from 4:20 till 5:00. Perfect. Home by Dinner.
Sitting and waiting.
Sitting and Waiting.
4:45 Said Chiropractor walks into our exam room.
Not much Chit Chat today.......Hmmmmmm
Momma should have saw the signs.
He says- Who's first, Up you go!
Wham. Whack Crack. First kid done.
Who's next?
Up goes the baby.
Rubs her back, rubs her neck, Ga Ga Goo Goo..... She is done.
Next he grabs the 5 year old flings him onto the table by his feet and figures that inversion was a good enough adjustment.
Smacks the table tells Mom to lay down on the table.
On your belly, face down.
He jumps on the middle of my back and cracks somethin, runs up to the top of my head, grabs my hair flips me over, and reams my head once to the left, once to the right.
Neck done.
Grabs my hands, pulls me up, pushes me out the door.
He grabs the kids coats puts them on and shoves us out the door.
All by 5:00.
Glad we could make up for his being overtime with his other patients.
(Yes. I am exaggerating.)
(No, Not by Much.)
I am thinking a Drive-Thru Chiropractic Window might serve his office well. "Roll down the window's kids!" "We are almost there, Quick now- Everyone stick your heads out your window as the Chiropractor reams your neck!" "Listen to Mommy!"
I think I could save myself $50 bucks a pop and just have them all hang their sweet little heads out the window as Mommy drives over that large pot-hole on Main Street.