I sit here at the computer way past my bedtime. I can't get enough energy to move from this spot. I am feeling so alone today, yesterday, this week, this month. Oh, my house is full of people and animals, but I am alone. I don't know how to change things, how to connect with my family. They don't seem to get me, I don't seem to get them.

I have watched a lot of romantic comedies lately and have decided that that "fairy tale ending" doesn't exist. Or at least it doesn't exist for me. I love my husband, but I don't LOVE him. I watch my friends with their husbands and am so jealous. They LOVE their husbands. They enjoy hanging out with their husbands. Why don't I?? I have often, lately, wondered how I got to this spot. I moved too fast, moved into this marriage before I should have. The life my kids and I have now is great. We don't have to scrape to pay the bills and eat. But is anyone really happy?

If only I could run into Harry Potter's world. The magical world where everything turns out okay. Where friends are best friends and friends for life. Where individuals can feel powerful, can solve their own problems with the support of their friends.

If only...