My early morning schedule consists of the normal fire drill of getting a two year old and a five year old ready for the day. Since both are either in day care or school, this is a major chore that nevers seems to quite find a routine. Regardless of how early we greet in the day, it seems like we end up rushing out the door choking down a breakfast bar and just make it to school on time to be identified as last in line... again.

This morning while in the drop off line for Kinsey's school, I noticed one of her classmates was wearing a jacket. We live in Florida. This mornings temperature was near 80 degrees. I started thinking "how damn warm does it have to get for you to drop the jacket girl?" Then I made the mistake of making a vocal comment, primarily to myself (really can't be done with a five year old listening), that it seemed rather silly to have a jacket on when the weather was so nice. Kinsey's immediate thought and comment was, "what if everybody is wearing a jacket?". She was concerned that since she didn't have a jacket, she might not fit in. Upon pointing out to her that all of the other students didn't have jackets, her anxiety at the thought of non-conformance ceased. Her comment caused me to pause and think. I remember my Mom using an old standby line that Moms use in such a situation... "If everyone was jumping off a bridge would you do it too?" Although the logic may be sound (questionable) for such a statement, it would make no sense to a five year old. That aside, asking that to my daughter would generate more questions than answers. I expressed to her that her individuality, her being her own person is what makes her so beautiful and so special. Somewhere, somehow, that nice thought will come back in a totally different circumstance with a completely different meaning. I can hear "Daddy do you remember the time you said I was special because I wasn't wearing a jacket to school and everybody else did and they were silly?" That comment will probably be offered at our school parents group dinner next month. You got to love it!

From an early age we are conditioned to be concerned about norms and acceptance. I'm not sure if it is environmental or just part of our hard wiring. My guess is it's partially both. Today my daughter's comment gave me the opportunity to reflect on how I view acceptance into my social groups. At the age of 44 I would have the luxury of saying "Why the hell are you all wearing jackets?" without any concern of what people think of me. That's the upside of maturity.