Yes, my Buzz Rank is in the toilet. But I have a plan.

BOYCOTT!

I will NOT create any new content until my Buzz Rank improves.

It's a pretty good strategy, I think. I hope it works. I encourage others to try it, too.

Love,

Leo

Just thought that was a fun headline.

I've got nothin'.

Thanks 5 tons.

Love,

Leo

I was minding my business the other day, just trying to cross the street.

When BAM! I was greeted by a beggar. But this guy wasn't your average, run-of-the-mill panhandler. He was runnin' a whole new hustle. Kinda cool, really. Let me explain.

He came at me talking about the Jazz-Lakers game. "Who's gonna win?" he asked innocently enough.

I didn't really know, although I figured it'd be close, and I told him so.

"You wanna bet a buck?"

Ha!

That was a new one on me. I'd never come across a beggar/bookie before. And, believe me, I've dealt with a lot of deranged folks. His fresh approach to the old game of rustling up spare change was almost worth a dollar.

But, alas, I had to cross the street. And that dude walked too slow.

Maybe next time, buddy. Hell, maybe tonight. The Lakers are coming to Salt Lake. Should be a good game.

Hug your children.

Love,

Leo

Hello, dear friends,

Regular visitors to this page may notice that I have recently adopted an eyeball fetish. Let's face it, folks, eyeballs are hot!

My goal is to get eight eyeball images to fill up my Top 8 friend spots. That way, my page will be well looked after while I'm away.

I've only got 6 so far. But I know that there are other eyeballs out there. I won't name names, but you know who you are.

So, please, if you have an eyeball-based avatar, come now, let's be friends.

As much as I'd hate to bump Piper and Stacey from the front page, do it I must, if my eyeball fetish is to be satisfied.

Love,

Leo

Here's a funky guide on how to pick your Top 8 friends:

1. Is she hot?
   If so, show her some mad buzz love and make her your No. 1 bud. If not, well, you might wanna rethink this whole "friendship" thing.


2. Is he handy around the anthill?
   If your so-called "friend" is sucking up way more buzz juice than he's worth, kick him quickly to the curb. Then, place my ugly mug on your page. I'm homely but helpful.


3. Is your friend doing something worthwhile?
   If your friend is promoting a good cause, like feeding homeless kids in Botswana, none of these rules apply. In that case, you can safely keep this friend among your Top 8, even if they are neither hot nor handy.
   So, there you have it, folks.
   Happy friending!
   Love,
   Leo