The Nine Warning Signs of Junkitis
(according to Don Aslett’s Clutter be Gone)

1. UNUSUAL DISCHARGE (from closets and shelves)




2. THICKENING OR LUMPS (under rugs, behind drapes, under beds)




3. NOTICEABLE SWELLING (of drawers, closets, files, pockets, waistlines)




4. OBVIOUS CHANGE OF COLOR (in your face, when you learn you’ve just missed a garage sale)




5. CHANGE IN PARKING REGULARITY (you start parking the car in the driveway because the garage is full of junk)




6. A SORE ON YOUR SHIN THAT DOES NOT HEAL (you keep breaking it open stumbling over junk)




7. UNREASONABLE TENDERNESS (toward shiny automobiles, souvenirs, and silverware sets)




8. NAGGING COUGH OR HOARSENESS (from talking about your possessions, and from yelling at the kids for damaging things)




9. NUMBNESS (to the people you know and places you go)