I have an addiction, no it's not drugs it is worse. It is people! Since I was a small child I have been in charge, in control of everything.(my childhood was pretty bad, I will blog about that later) This was alright til I got older and people did not want me to control them. This is one of the reasons my marriage didn't work. Then I got into a relationship with the devil lol I know it is harsh but he is the devil! I would choose these men because I did not think I was worth the love I truly needed. Until the day I had, had it. My devil ex threw me into a wall, and I snapped, I couldn't take it anymore, so I called my mom and she told me about Codependence anonymous. I went to one meeting and knew I had found my home. I didn't think I would ever end up in a program(my mom is in another program NA) I thought I was "normal" boy was I wrong,lol. But ever since I have been going my life has turned around, I found out who I really am, and what I truly want out of life. When I was least looking for it, Tim came into my life and my heart has opened up and I am so in love. I have no need to control him, I love him just the way he is, which is amazing to me. I have learned to control my anger, just my life. I learn something new everyday, and I am open for change. I have included some traits of a codependents just in case some people haven'y heard of it.

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.

Denial Patterns:

I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:

I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:

I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

Son of Grace Enterprises, SOGE shirts, they are this wonderful company ran by two guys, one of which is my boyfriend. But any who they make these hilarious T-shirts, everyone must go and check them out, http://www.sogeshirts.com/, and they have a blog on here at http://www.Sogeshirts.blogspot.com/ Tell a friend heck tell 5 friends and get the word out about this awesome company, and be seen in these shirts and you will be talk about. Show some love and go to the web site. Thanks much love

Well I have been working at Nordstrom for about 2 years now, in the Cafe as a lead line cook. I did all the cooking and prep work. Now a job opening in the front of the house has opened up, and I have been asked to take it. It is an assiant postion, which I am happy about. I did go to culinary school, but as I see it, as long as I am working in the resturant business I am where I want to be. I have always known that food is my line of business. I am nervous about the move, nervous people won't respect me the way that is needed. I am one tough cookie though so I will make it, and thrive.