Lord Montague: Romeo time tis of the essence, our manor doth been foreclosed. We must live with the Capulets.

Romeo: The Capulets? Even Tybalt?

Lord Montague: Especially Tybalt. Thou art sharing a room with him.

Romeo: Anger surrounds me like tortured banshees trapped between two worlds.

Lord Montague: Quit being over dramatic. Fannie and Freddie doth crashed as well as Bear Sterns leading us to bunk up with the Capulets. Thou shall pack whilst I buy some Top Ramen at the marketplace.

Romeo and his father move in the with the Capulets. Romeo is in his room with Tybalt while Juliet pays him a visit.

Juliet: Dear Tybalt may I speak to Romeo lacking your presence?

Tybalt: What for? You going to bang?

Romeo slaps Tybalt in the face.

Romeo: Cease your mouth Tybalt you colossal menace. Hath you not learned to communicate with a lady?

Tybalt: You're such a giant douche Romeo. I'm not leaving this room so you guys will just have to get freaky in front of me. Besides I like to watch.

Juliet: Thou art thou art. Whatever. Romeo my love, living in the same manor and having our parents get along hath dimmed the romance of our once forbidden tryst.

Romeo: Tis true. Passion used to burn in the embers of our being but now that we share the same hamper and our parents break bread together its just not the same.

Tybalt: Ah poor babies why don't you just commit suicide you insufferable whiners.

Romeo takes a pillow and smashes it onto Tybalts head.

Tybalt: Oww you dick.

Juliet: Tybalt thou art a dick. Romeo and I couldn't afford the last drop of death at the pharmacy anyways. Alas killing ourselves now would also lack the tragic aspect of our families feud.

Romeo: Indeed.

Romeo gives Juliet a kiss.

Romeo: My dearest Juliet, I must leave you now... for my shift at Arby's starts in less than a quarter of the hour.

Tybalt: You better not put me on dish duty Romeo I hate dish duty.

Romeo: Not today Tybalt you shall learn the art of the toilet clean.

Tybalt: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tybalt dives under the bed and takes out a bottle with a skeleton on it. He unscrews the cap and downs it furiously.

Tybalt: Now I leave this wretched world.

Juliet starts laughing.

Juliet: Alas dumb cousin. We knew you would take the fools medicine so we switched it out with a dose of Powerade.

Tybalt: NOOOOOOOOOO its horrible.

Have you ever wondered who picks the hurricane names and why they picked that name? Probably not but I'm just weirder than you so I did some research. They pick hurricane names years in advance, and let me tell you there are some pretty crappy hurricane names. Hurricanes should have dickhead names like Ike ala Ike turner who was a dickhead. The name fits as the hurricane causes destruction and does whatever the heck it wants. Here are some awful upcoming hurricane names in the next few years.

2008 Hurricanes http://geography.about.com/od/physicalgeography/a/2008names.htm

1. Hurricane Nana- If the hurricane season makes it to the N"s which is very likely then here comes hurricane Nana. This hurricane is going to cause young children to be terrified of their grandmothers for life. No more apples pies and a warm smile. Now Nana is capable of blasting you with a fire hose. Truly a terrible hurricane name.




2. Hurricane Rene- Hurricane Rene just doesn't strike much fear into me. It's a french name so I'm going to assume the hurricane is going to surrender. I might become one of the idiots that tries to stay in my house until water comes past my head and I drown.




3. Tie for the last worst hurricane name of 2008 Hurricane Teddy/ Hurricane Wilfred- Teddy Ruxpin and teddy bear sales are about to plummet. Hurricane Wilfred is an odd choice for a hurricane name, but it makes those few unfortunate souls named Wilfred 300 percent tougher.

Hurricane names 2009 http://geography.about.com/od/physicalgeography/a/2009names.htm

The 2009 batch didn't really have any names that I could make stupid puns about so I'll pass.

Hurricane names 2010- http://geography.about.com/od/physicalgeography/a/2010hurricane.htm

1. Hurricane Hermine- Don't worry Harry Potter fans. Its Hermione not Hermine. Still this is a name that I didn't even know existed. Are their that many hurricanes out there that we have to resort to weird names? You aren't going to see Hermine at the gift shop for one of those novelty name plates.




2. Hurricane Igor- Igor's never win. They are always a hunchbacked servant of Dracula or a Russian bad guy in a James Bond movie, and now a Hurricane that will cause destruction. Might as well name the hurricane Lucifer or Adolf. Not too many Adolf's out there anymore.




3. Hurricane Virginie- I'm guessing most of the V names have been used but why not throw in some product placement in there and go with Hurricane Vlassic to support the jarred pickle industry? At least I would of heard of Vlassic.

There you have it. I wonder if I could get on the board of hurricane naming alliance and I wonder what their salaries are. If I ever do don't be surprised if you see Hurricane Soge shirts as we need all the google search hits we can get.

Hey guys I would love any of you that love our shirts to sign up for our newsletter at sogeshirts.com and if you are so inspired and know any t-shirt fans forward them the link to our site. Thanks so much.

90210 returns to the air tonight with an almost all new cast making it the saddest reclamation project since Stallone's recent ruination of the Rambo and Rocky series. Has Hollywood just plain run out of ideas? What other old shows are they going to bring back? Since they are getting ridiculous my first vote is to bring back Happy Days. The Fonz could be played by Kirk Cameron of growing pains marking his triumphant comeback from spending time with his family. Richie could be played by ??? I have no idea since I haven't seen a red headed male teenager on TV in years. I guess you could plug in Michael Cera from Superbad, dye his hair red, and add some freckles in makeup. Also why not do another Sex in the City? You could make the ladies younger, faster, hipper, and even sluttier. It doesn't matter who your cast is, just make them in their mid twenties and have the sex drives of hormone enchanced rabbits. Besides original ideas are overrated, or just too hard to come up with. It's all been done anyways so just do it again and again.

Another great idea for the brainless Hollywood producer is to take a show currently on air and make a rocking spin off show. ABC can do a More Desperate Housewives spin off with ladies that sleep around, get murdered, or be total bitches every five seconds instead of every ten seconds. Twice the drama, twice the fun, and three times the ridiculous plot lines. Smallville could become Smallerville following the exploits of superman during his childhood from three to ten. Must be nice to be able to fly home to take naps when at Pre-school or ward off the almighty cooties. Originality and thinking is past its prime in Hollywood. The best ideas are ideas that can come to you in five seconds, which is exactly how I came up with this blog.

With the recent revelation that Chef Julia Child worked undercover for what is now known as the CIA credible sources revealed several other former Celebrity agents. I always wondered why Julia Child served Cold War cuts and now I know.

1. Mister Rogers- His slogan was won't you be my neighbor unless you're a dirty communist. Beneath his nice guy exterior Rogers was responsible for the deaths of many Russian spies using the sweater strangler technique.




2. Joan Rivers- A master of disguises due to her many plastic surgeries, Rivers made many missions into Nicaragua and Vietnam. She could never change her distinct voice however and was captured many times only to be sent back. Her captors couldn't handle criticism of their guerilla style uniforms.

To see the rest of the list go to http://sogeshirts.blogspot.com/2008/08/top-six-celebrity-spies.html

The topic of same sex marriage frightens and upsets many people. Personally I think it is a non issue and that two people in love, who need green cards, or are marrying for financial benefit/status, should be allowed to get married. I really don't understand the die hards who are opposed to same sex marriages. Are you afraid that the divorce rate will go down? Gay couples probably are more likely to be better at to death do us part than straight couples. I'm betting that 50 percent of their marriages wouldn't end in divorce. Do you hate wedding planners? You might have seen those wedding planners act like stuck up whiners in the movies and want to keep money out of their pocket. I admit even I have bought into the Hollywood manipulated hate. The thing is though in real life they probably aren't much like the stereotyped characters you see in TV and movies. The extra income same sex marriages provide would be a boon to the economy and the weddings would be extravagant.

Are you afraid that you might learn how to dance or sing kareoke better at same sex weddings? If I was invited to a same sex marriage I'd take the opportunity to learn both skills, so I could belt out staying alive while not tripping over my feet. Another reason people may be opposed to gay weddings is that they are homophobic and couldn't handle seeing two men or women kiss when they tie the knot. Don't tell me you haven't seen any Will Ferrell movies or his old skits on SNL. You probably didn't walk out of the movie or change the channel. There you have it. There really is no reason not to support same sex marriages. Same sex divorces could be scary though because who would get the shoes.