Literal Dan has been talking smack about me & I think it is time to set the record straight. I went back over the start of our conversations to see how & who started this feud. You decide.

It started when Dan commented on my about me blurb.

DAN: Ahh, I love "teaching moments"-- they make me feel much more competent

BAD MOMMA: Hey Literal, Thanks for dropping by to visit this illiterate soul. I pretty much can make anyone look competent!

DAN: Oh, that sounds like a challenge-- apparently I've been training to face you for quite some time. lol

Bad Momma: Oh man, I show my wise-cracking side and all the sarcastic bloggers want to challenge me. Perhaps we should have a Cre8Buzz Smackdown! I clearly am out of my element but what the hell...Bring It!

DAN: Sounds like we need to set up some kind of cage-match free-for-all around here-- laziest, most sarcastic person wins!

The Buzz Rulz According to Bad Momma

1.Cre8Buzz is a friendly place. (A little too friendly if you ask me!) - When you first get to the Buzz you will be overwhelmed with the makeshift "Welcoming Committee". It can take all day and night trying to keep up.
Don't worry, things will slow down in a few days. Most of these people are looking to make a new friend. It is o.k. to accept friend requests of people you don't know. They aren't predators; these Buzzers are looking to add your Avatar to their My Friends section. It's kind of like getting a new patch for their "Buzz Scout" Sash. Once friended, you will not see most of these buzzers again anytime soon.... If ever.

2.Make sure to be somewhat accurate with your age. Ladies, we know you don't want us to know your real age. However, I found it quite shocking when I was putting in a friend request only to get a warning that the person was under the age of 18. This I would assume if you have 3 kids and have been married for 10 years to your best friend, that you are at least in your late 20's.

3.Profile Photo- Caller-ID - Once you are signed into Cre8Buzz, as you venture about, your avatar will be left on every profile you visit under "Recently Visited By". Just like caller ID. The polite thing to do is to leave a comment such as " Buzzing by to say hi!" or "How ya doing?" " Have a great day!"... If you don't say anything, it will be noticed and you will probably be called out. On the flip side, if someone visited you without leaving a message, they were probably giving you some ranking-love. TIP: If you want to cruise around undetected, do so before you sign in.

4.First Impressions are not accurate: DaPoppins is not a Super Nanny that runs around with a spoonful of sugar, Momo Fali does not own an Italian Eatery. (I'm not even sure she can cook!) and Ender with his Day of the Dead avatar is not an Emo-Kid. He is a shy, kindly, talented artist. You should visit and leave a comment. Squiffy may look like a mean evil clown but she really is a friendly evil-clown.

5.Reach out and get involved. While it might seem a bit cliquey at first, everyone is friendly. Make sure you are participating in Forum Discussions or commenting on Anthill posts, photos and blog posts. You will make lots of friends quickly this way.

6.Show your sarcastic side and you'll make lots of friends. I found that out by accident.

and finally just have fun and
7.Don't even try to figure out the point system. ( see my BuzzZanity II Post - The Antman.

If I had forever,

I would not change a thing.

I'd live each day, as if my last.

Fear not what tomorrow will bring.

At first glance I might look like a big sloth. I am actually in training for a potential cage fight with Literal Dan. More like a contest to see who can be the most sarcastic couch potato.

You might ask, "How is reading a celebrity gossip magazine, cleaning house?" Actually I have piles of magazines and newspapers waiting to be read before they can be put in the recycle bin. So I really am working here. I also am getting caught up on current events.

I am also on my 5th cup of coffee here. Keeps me on my toes and gives me an edge on the competition.

By wearing a belt, I don't have to get out of my "sofa swing" to break up fights. Just the mere threat of using the belt keeps the natives in line.

Sunglasses are also an integral part of my ensemble. Kids can't tell if I'm looking at them or the magazine or taking a nap!

Can you top that Literal Dan?

On this Memorial Day weekend I plan to relax, reflect and hang out in my yard enjoying the flowers. Sometimes we are so caught up on getting somewhere that we don’t appreciate the journey. Obsessed with achieving a goal, we don’t take time to appreciate the the fruits of our labor thus far. This time of year I make a point before I leave for work and when I come home, to walk around the yard, smell the flowers and marvel at life’s miracles.

In Another Lifetime I used to have a “real” job. I worked in the offices of a billion dollar corporation. (Not as impressive as it sounds). Every quarter we would have a “briefing”. More like a giant pep rally. I vividly remember one of these Quarterly Briefings. After the reports of company performance and awards were handed out, we had a surprise visit from the founder and CEO.

Our great, wise leader took the podium and made a short speech. When he was done, we were told there would now be a question and answer session. A hush fell over the crowd. It appeared that we had an entire organization of mutes. After an uncomfortable silence there finally was a “softball” question followed by another one.

More silence.
” Any more questions?”
… more silence
” Anyone???”
yet another awkward moment or two.

Finally a gal with a big, booming voice stood up with another query. This gentleman, a college drop-out, had started the company with $5,000 and a big idea. After lots of hard work, and a bit of luck, he was now a successful billionaire.
“……. Do you ever stop and look back in awe on what you have created?”
More silence…
Our founder furrowed his brow and thought for a moment. He stammered a bit and finally answered.
” I never thought about this before. No one has ever asked me that. Hmmm…I guess my philosophy is that if you stop to smell the roses, you’ll get run over by a bus.”

I remember shaking my head, thinking how sad that must be, for someone to have achieved so much and not take the time to enjoy his success.

Five or Six Years Later

I had left my job to start my own, very small, business. I was tired, felt stifled and needed a break from the corporate world. A few years into my venture, I was interviewed for a fluff piece by a writer for a local business journal. Midway into the interview, the reporter asked ” What is your greatest accomplishment?” I hesitated. “…Something you are most proud of?”. While it was a pretty standard question, I did not have an answer. I thought back to the comment about getting “run over by a bus”.

I finally understood what this successful businessman had meant. I was so busy trying to grow a business and comparing myself to others, I was never satisfied with my efforts. I kept setting the bar higher and higher as I achieved my benchmarks. I was never where I wanted to be.

Moral of the Story

I have noticed the same phenomenon applies to blogging and life in general. We get so caught up in trying to keep up with others, we sometimes spend more time worrying about what we don’t have rather than appreciate what we do have.

As I sit in my backyard, I take in the sweet smells of suburbia; the intoxicating odors of gardens and barbecues. The sounds of birds chirping, lawn mowers humming and children playing, create a joyful symphony for my ears. I am taking time to be grateful for what I have. I also owe a huge amount of gratitude to the men and women who have given their lives for our country, to protect the freedoms that we take for granted.

This weekend I am taking extra care to smell the roses. And give thanks to those who made it possible.