The milestones in our lives are what defines our values most. The day we graduated from high school, was by far, the biggest accomplishment at that point in our young lives. After the "glow" faded to a realization of reality being just around the corner, many of us were at a loss. This part of our lives, the childhood part, was all we really knew. We never had to worry about the question, "What now?". For the past twelve years or so, we had gotten up each morning and went to school. Then, on the weekends, we hung out with friends or worked part-time jobs for a little spare pocket money.

After that graduation, that was when real motivation began. The realization that there were no more role calls to be present at, brought a whole new perspective to our young lives. So we turned to work as a means to justify our soon to be ends. We knew the bills would come at some point, sooner rather than later. Those of us who had no plans for higher education dove into the workforce with a vigor that may have shown us for the first time, our own abilities.

My life has always been a driven one. Although that same drive may not always have been pointed in the right direction, it was there nonetheless.

I have always worked well under pressure.

We are here for a limited time. What we do is as much a part of what we are as much as the rest of our surroundings define us. My motivation comes from many different sources. All are the fuel that run our lives.

But these thoughts did not enter our young minds. We were already tasting the sweetness of freedom, though never understanding it's true flavor.

Being a flaky employee is not such a mystery. If you are one, you probably already know it, without someone pointing it out to you. You come into work, just barely on time. You tend to take a lot more bathroom breaks than someone with a normal sized bladder. Your need to hit the water-cooler is second only to the dying man in the dessert searching for an oasis.

The work performance becomes (or always has been) something that you give little thought to. you figure that if you got it done...sort of on time, that should be good enough. Helping others with their projects is out of the question. You are either too busy or no one can find you to even ask for help. Chances are you are in the bathroom at the time. As a flaky employee you are probably the one that complains the most about not having enough vacation time. Never getting that raise or promotion that you feel you are qualified for. For the life of you, you can't understand why no one ever asks you to join them for lunch or an after work drink. You figure that they are a bunch of snobs and that you are better off without their company anyway.

The mere mention of working over-time send shivers up your spine. When the unthinkable happens and you are forced to stay late, you become moody and feel like everyone is against you. You scribble your anger on the bathroom wall during one of your many ventures there. As the work is being handed out, you begin to formulate all the excuses as to why it could not be completed in the time-frame set forth. With the exception of an Act of God, you prepare your defense for handing everything in late or at the very least incomplete.

Your desk is a mess and the chaos can only be understood by someone studying quantum physics or a mental patient. You lose much of the notes and phone messages in the ever-growing sprawl that was once a work area. You will of course blame it on the fact that you either never got the message or that you were out that day. Chances are you were getting a drink or getting rid of all that water in the bathroom. In any case, the fault is not yours and was caused by someone else's over-sight.

Eventually you will of course get fired. not because you production is low or that your sense of teamwork is not even a afterthought, it is because all the managers and the people that you work for cannot possibly understand your depth and vast talents. As you clean out your desk, you will certainly take the stapler and as many pens and paper clips as you can find. After your last trip to the bathroom (ah memories) you head out and wonder what lucky company will sweep you up next. All the while thinking how to polish up your resume that you have your buddy write for you.

To Joanne with all my Love Always, Forever, Beyond Words

Baby I know that there have been times
When loving me seemed more like a crime
As painful as true love can be
To this day I still can't believe you picked me

I probably do more things wrong than right
I find I hurt myself every time we fight
It's so easy to lose one's way
Sometimes there seems to be so much more I could say

So I want to take this moment in time
To tell you that I'm so happy that you are mine
And that all the love that I have in my heart
Has been yours, right from the start

It's your smile I would miss should you ever leave
The light in your eyes that have always made me believe
That love is not just for a few lucky souls
But a gift that is ours to hold

I'll make more mistakes, I am sure
But my love for you will always be pure
There could be no other in your place
Just one kiss and all pain you erase

I would go crazy if I were in your place
Loving a man like me is never a slow pace
But you will never have to wonder if I care
Nor with whom you have the rest of your life to share

I'll love you the only way I know how
Cause I know all we truly have is right now
And I'll be there till the very end
Forever your lover, your soul mate and your best friend

Love is an emotion that varies in intensity from person to person. What you feel for one person that you are in love with now, is certainly different than what you felt with your former loves in your life. To expect love to be an equal feeling between both parties is just foolish.

We all want to be loved. Most of us find, that in many of our most pleasurable relationships, it was (or is) the different ways the other person expresses their feelings of adoration, is what makes the connection so special. No one loves like you do. There are no other expressions of emotion that will mirror the variety of actions, words or deeds that love can use to show itself to another person.

Some may use words and song or even poetry to show what their heart of hearts feels for you. Others will show their passion in a more physical way, such as back rubs or passionate love-making. Then there are those that help with the house chores or the kids or anything else that makes your life easier. Again, it is the perception of love that defines it, not the expectation of it.

Having said that, it is of course important to spread your message of love over a large canvass in your relationship. As important as each one of the afore-mentioned expressions of love is, they are not exclusive nor the only ways we show our affection. We are each different in many aspects and love is probably the one emotion that has as many shades of colors as the rainbow.

If you feel that you give more to your relationship then perhaps you are not seeing the expression of love that your partner is showing you. Look at your expectations (we all have them) and then look beyond them then maybe you will discover a new side to not only your lover, but a part of your heart that you never even knew existed.

The wind was light and cool
Beckoning me to come out into it
The smell of autumn everywhere
All around me I was everything within me

As quickly as my feet could take me
I head into the Forrest that once was
Proud and mighty for a thousand years
Now just a shell with empty sounds

But to my 12 year old mind it was full of life
An escape from the pain of a broken world
A bastion that sheltered me and the place
Where I felt I always had a place

The dead trees and leaves as far as I could see
Were exactly placed there for my pleasure
To wander through as my mind wandered as well
Quiet and serene I could want nothing more

The dreams a wishes were all there for the taking
Even as the day gave up it's light and it was time to go
I knew in my heart that when I return
This place would be there, waiting for me, always