Waking up, wondering how the day will go, will it be better than yesterday?
Sometimes I wonder, I wonder what it would be like if it was all turned around.

My eyes don't hold the gleam as when I was younger, now they glare with a fiery passion to gain all that I never had.

I will never give in to anyones will, nor will I succumb to my greater weaknesses. I am alive, and I will strive to become stronger than all those who attempted to cross my path.

There's nowhere left to hide, it is time to stand up, step out from the crowd and speak my heart out. I AM A WARRIOR TRUE!

Feelings of doubt remain within, but they are no longer speedbumps, but yet road markers to ensure that I am defeating myself all the while I am gaining myself in turn.

Regret is no longer an option, what's done is done, and I cannot say that I am sorry. I am who I am, and I will not change for the better of anyone except myself.

Hatred does burn inside, but not for you, no, not for you. For myself, for being who I was and for what I did. It is not regret, nor remorse, but moreso that of becoming what is to be.

I walk in the masses of others, not trying to stand out, but my Warrior pride stands out. I walk taller than others, my stride is not broken by those too weak to maintain. I feel nothing for the society that forgot how to live.

I can, I want, and I will always be stronger than you, because I do not hide behind a mask, I do not wear costumes to disguise my true self. I AM I!

God did not make me in the image of my peers, but in his own, I create my own path and carve it with my own pain, sweat, tears, and blood. This life to live is mine.

            The Gunslinger

My time is long,
my story longer.
The sun beats down on me,
and the breeze blisters my skin.
My mind is wasteland,
the World is moving on.
I've come through many tribulations,
but to no avail, I am still broken.
I continue my fight without thought,
my heart is romanced by this.
My journey to the truth is fruitless,
and taste of bittersweet.
Love lost,
and always remembered.
I am not just a shell,
but a fraction of man.
I have found a door,
and found myself starting over again.

(Inspired by Stephen King's The Dark Tower)

            The Dark Tower

I've ridden these roads a thousand times,
and told my tale hundreds more.
My journey is long, and my quest longer.
My nightmares are always the same,
as is the outcome of my eternal story.
I remember all my pain, all my woes,
for they are behind every door.
I am the slave of times curse,
and the master of my own demise.
I am the Gunslinger!
And time is not my own.

When we were young,
there was nothing more
than Sand-Castles in the sky.
Now that we've moved on,
there's so much I wish I didn't do.
I remember the first kiss,
and now I need something even more
than I needed once before.
Realize my innocence,
but it's far gone now.
I've grown so strong in my life,
and I when I say I love you,
i've gotta be sure i'm not wrong again.
Remembering the past as it comes back
infront of me.
A childhood, so long ago..
I dream of Sand-Castles in the sky.

(I'll work on my composition.)

Well, since i've been here in Afghanistan, things seem to be neutral for the most part. It all depends on how you look at it, i'm not sleeping in a tent, I get good food 3x a day, I get decent hours to sleep, and it's fairly quiet here. The downsides, sometimes working 16-18 hours, getting put on lame details that eat your time off (which is little to none anyways). I try to look at things like, i'm making good money for my age, getting great daily exercise to tone my body, learning to deal with great amounts of stress, and learning a new language...very slowly.. Aside from all that, it's a day to day basis of waiting and working til it's time to go home. I find it hard to believe it's already been over a month. I thought time would be slower than hell with the lifestyle us soldiers deal with, but surprisingly, it seems like just yesterday I was underneath a HMMWV (humvee) for 9 1/2hrs trying to take apart a burnt up brake caliper and replace the brake lines which cracked under pressure. Ahh..memories...So the other day I bought a new camera, once I get my laptop I will upload new photos of us and some of the mountains and landscape we get to see. The photos consist of my buddies and my leaders, each of them have a colorful personality..depending on how you look at them.
I made friends with a few Czech soldiers that are deployed here aswell, my closer friend of the group is Michael (not sure how to spell it in the Czech form) he's quite a character, his english improves which every visit, he's 32, about 5'9 with blue eyes. I wrote a song for him and he is sending it to his sister whom is in a band to make it into an actual song for me. I may start posting some of my poetry if I feel up to it, but usually i'm barely awake long enough to even read my book. The book i'm currently stuck on is Stephen Kings: Nightmares and Dreamscapes.
Remember this, nomatter where you are, or what you're doing, nothing is ever so bad...depending on how you look at it.