The problem is not new, nor should it be fodder for gossip. Today’s teens are simply running wild. They are greater risk takers, more sexually active and overly informed than any teenage population that came before. From MTV pimping over the top Sweet Sixteen celebrations, as voyeuristic glances into the tiny percent of the population that can afford to have Usher at their parties. To “reality dating” shows on any channel that model behaviors that are breeding at risk teens and young adults by promoting excessive drinking and providing hot tubs as an option for each date. The media by virtue of its channels and accessibility of internet access colludes with the corruption of our teenage children.

Web 2.0 and “social networking” a much more effective means of communication. Such advancements as video chats, gives adolescents the more private forum to “explore” with various behaviors and cultures, alternate lifestyles and some really out there “freakish” things we as adults can’t even grasp. There are now translators for the slang used by kids to “text message” one another. Yes an illiterate language to further stunt any thinking that might be needed to right in full sentences. Do we want our kids paralyzed by gadgets? Do we want our kids informed by those that have the freedom to express absolutely any view they wish and with pictures and video to make it more entertaining, such as the site The Church of Euthanasia.

As a teacher and writer I use the internet to a staggering degree for both information gathering and inspiration for my writing efforts. I Googled Euthanasia for a student who was assigned the topic as a final paper in her English class. This was to be a persuasive argument for or against the controversial practice. About five to seven links down the results of the search was the link to the church that I mentioned. Clicking on the site I gasped and shook with anxiety as I finally understood what we (Parents, Teachers, kids) were up against. The site promotes among other things death in all forms and mainly suicide. So here I was doing what my students were in researching their topic, and there it was, like any other site. Organized (not well) just enough to have their information viewed and their “Four Pillars” defined. I will not share the ideas espoused by this website, but you should take a look sometime and see what your kids read for their school projects.

Then there is the inevitable Hollywood influence. Our kids like music and movies just like we did. Yet they are getting to hear about and watch the pop idols they worship live the most reckless and dangerous of lives. Pregnant Disney TV Show stars, the network is probably scrambling to find a way to separate themselves from the shamed star of their show "Zoey 101" as we learn that young Spears may have been having an “affair” with an older executive. Wholesome teenage fun for the whole family, right? The media is stoning Lynne Spears, and yes her daughters are particularly frightening, but is she to blame?

The Megan Meier’s story is particularly disturbing and has all the elements that are facilitating an adolescent epidemic of risk taking and poor judgment. To quickly sum up the Megan Meier’s story is difficult for there are many layers. It involves female friendships, parenting skills, MySpace, boys and very irresponsible adults. Megan apparently had a falling out with her close friend and neighbor and this neighbors Mom Lori Drew was concerned that Megan was going to say indecent things about her daughter. She quickly created a MySpace profile of a young handsome boy she names Josh Evans from a neighboring town, and started communicating with Megan in a flirtatious way. Megan had been dealing with self esteem issues along with every other adolescent, and found the attention of the young man exciting. He was cute and sweet and could really understand her. He told her she was pretty and wanted to be her boyfriend. She had no reason to think anything else was happening. Three weeks into the internet relationship, he turned on Megan and said she was not the kind of person he wanted to associate with due to things he heard from kids at her school. She responded with shock, tears and hanging herself with a belt as her parents got ready for dinner downstairs. It was quickly disclosed that the boy with whom Megan had bonded was really a collaborative effort of a family, initiated by the matriarch Mrs. Drew, and maintained by all. They explained that they started the profile on MySpace to protect their daughter from slanderous talk (never did Megan say a bad thing about her neighbor or anyone else). Since the rest of the neighborhood found out about the families little game, the family has complained of harassment on several occasions. To date there will be no charges found against the MySpace family hoax or any of the participants. A tragedy like this is unthinkable yet it is subtle, societal and scary.

If the teenagers seem frightening as they shoot up shopping malls during the holidays, is it possible to assume that the parents must have something to do with it? As the story of Meghan illustrates the power of the internet on our young ones, it also shows parents as they set the example for their children. Taunting a young person for fun, causing pain and perpetuating deceit are lessons these parents clearly imparted. What do we do as members of society to protect our kids from such insidiousness? There are several basic parenting principles that can have a positive impact on children. Use them, and perhaps we can gain back control just enough to produce citizens who we could be proud of. These basics are not “new age” and they are certainly not difficult to grasp, but do we care to save our kids? Perhaps we should try.

Boundaries are a necessity for kids. They want and need them and parents have to provide them. Without understanding their own boundaries and those of others, kids have no way to gauge their attitudes and behaviors. It is not as simple as saying something is good or bad, right or wrong, but why and in what scenario. Guiding adolescents by defining boundaries allows them to process social behavior and respond to it. Lynn Spears allowed her young daughter, underage and naïve to not only have an older boyfriend but to basically co-habitate with him. Some may say, “at least I know they are safe, they are home after all.” Yet the child was fourteen if the story is at all accurate, when she began dating this young man. If at fourteen this type of behavior is accepted then it stands to reason that two years into a relationship a child wouldn’t be such a shock. There appears no discussion about whether these young people had protection or used it, or what type and who provided it? Why is that not an important enough facet of the story to focus on? It could only help send the message that there are no guarantees and always that chance that even with protection, there are risks. Boundaries again play a part in this particular case because not only did Lynne not provide any, but there was also an older sister, incredibly troubled and ridiculously famous, shirking all decency in front of the entire world. Losing her children, behaving in a way that could only be seen as psychologically volatile, and big sister Britney Spears never knew a boundary she didn’t obscenely cross.

Teenagers need to learn through actions about consequences. They must know that an action may have a positive or negative reaction and it should come as no surprise by the time a kid is in their teens what those are. There is plenty of argument about punishment, and I am not sure where I stand on this globally. Yet parents must define consequences for their children with consistency.

This brings me to the adolescent’s desperate need for consistency from their parents. They need to understand clearly what their actions will lead to every time. It seems as though parents are afraid to provide consistent consequences because they “feel bad” or it seems they fear their kid’s reactions. If parents allow kids to turn the tables and assume the position of authority, how can they be blamed for their inevitable transgressions? There are parents and there are children. Parents can not be mistaken for “friends”; they must never stop parenting in a consistent and committed fashion.

This brings us to commitment to our children and to parenting. This commitment I describe is a life long, full time job parent’s take on when they bring a child into this world. They must commit to setting boundaries, parenting with consistency and establishing consequences. They must enforce this on a daily basis without fail. Does this sound like a Herculean task? Perhaps it is at times and I by no means wish to imply that parenting in this era is easy or terrain that is well traveled. Yet the alternative, as we have so clearly been shown again and again in the tabloids, and stories of tragic lost kids doing unthinkable things almost daily by the media, can’t possibly be ignored. There has to be a better way to guide our youth, than by the examples I have shared. Without a doubt the answer is parents, parenting, and society’s willingness to see some changes in the way adolescents are perceived and accept them so as to help them. There is hope for both the parents and our youth. I ask you then; will you make the commitment before that hope is extinguished? I think the kids are worth it, it’s up to us all to convince them of that through guidance and even by setting a reasonable example.

Sources sited:

1. www.ok-magazine.com Jamie Lynn Spears Says She's Pregnant
   Dec 18, 2007


2. www.nytimes.com/2007/12/16/fashion/16meangirls.html When the Bullies Turned Faceless by Christopher Maag. December 16, 2007


3. www.churchofeuthanasia.org

This is a compilation of views from some of the greatest artists on art itself. They not only created beautiful masterpieces, but tried to understand their role in the process. Their views vary, some are spiritual about their work, others are ambivalent, and others are emotional. The common thread is that living life and art are vital to the artist. How ironic that most great artists lived their life so recklessly and never seemed to enjoy it at all.

“My role in society, or any artist or poet's role is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.”

-John Lennon, Interview, KFRC RKO Radio, given the day of his death. December 8, 1980

"Principles for the Development of a Complete Mind: Study the science of art. Study the art of science. Develop your senses - especially learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else."

-Leonardo DaVinci

“We work in the dark, we do what we can, we give what we have, our doubt is our passion, and our passion is our task, the rest is the madness of art.”

-Henry James

"Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow spot into the sun."

-Pablo Picasso

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."

-Oscar Wilde, The Decay of Living, 1891

“The artist is a receptacle for the emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web.”

-Pablo Picasso

“To the artist there is never anything ugly in nature.”

-Auguste Rodin

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Who knew knowledge could be sorrow?

Who knew our rights could be stripped away?

Who knew laws could never govern?

Who knew leaders could get lost?

Who knew identities could be stolen?

Who knew faces could be altered?

Who knew science could betray us?

Who knew history could be ignored?

Who knew evil could be taught?

Who knew heroes could be villains?

Who knew our neighbors could be saints?

Who knew sinners could be teachers?

Who knew clothes could make the man?

Who knew possessions could be priceless?

Who knew wealth could be so hungry?

Who knew money could buy power?

Who knew fame could be an illness?

Who knew words could soon be censored?

Who knew hate could turn to love?

Who knew our bodies could betray us?

Who knew hearts could really break?

Who knew laughter could be medicine?

Who knew our children could be cruel?

Who knew man could choose a bomb?

Who knew mothers could kill their babies?

Who knew sisters could be strangers?

Who knew our sons could die at war?

Who knew pain could be a business?

Who knew pleasure could lead to death?

Who knew friends could turn against us?

Who knew memories could fade so quickly?

Who knew lovers could be untrue?

Who knew time could heal all wounds?

Who knew questions could be left unanswered?

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

She blue him a kiss
It was shaped like her lips
He caught it with pride
For it had made quite a trip.

Over the cities
And the great sea.
A wondrous voyage
It had turned out to be.

So once it arrived
It was placed with great care
On the forehead belonging
To a Hawaiian Heir.

He smiled as he felt it
Rush through his veins.
This kiss that brought with it
The cure for his pains.

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

I hate my thighs!

There is nothing on TV!

It’s too cold outside!

I need new cloths!

Traffic sucks!

I’m hungry!

I miss my friends!

I need a vacation!

My stomach is so flabby!

I can’t wear a bikini now!

Men are arrogant babies!

Dumb people should wear a sign!

There is nothing to eat!

Why is this taking so long!

Don’t you know who I am!

I want to scream!

I am screaming!

People are watching!

They must think I’m fat!

I need to take a deep breath!

Ok, maybe a few deep breaths!

I am so embarrassed!

I must get over myself!

I can’t stand being late!

Ok, am I late?

Thank god, right on time!

What was I saying?

Copyright ©2007 VeronicaRomm