I love to write, to share, to open my soul up, at least on paper ... but is it really okay to have it so transparently out there for the masses?

I am naturally a VERY private person. But here comes the dilemma - I love to blog; I love that people are reading my stories. Recently I've entered some really personal territory, and I waffle back and forth about whether I should have gone there at all.

Not that I have huge readership on my blog; or a gazillion friends here on the Buzz or Facebook. But this stuff is out if people really want to see it.

I think it's important to be honest, and sharing some of my stories may indeed help others. But I wonder at the same time if it may be at a cost; to my kids, more specifically. On the surface I don't know how it might be negative, to me it's a love story and confirms how much we so badly wanted them to love.

So I'm trying hard to keep it "my" story; about my experiences, all about the "me".

Selfish little bitch, ain't I?

With summer coming up very quickly, and us being desperate for some sort of vacation, it pains me to admit that we have NOTHING yet planned. We have grandiose visions of a trip with kids, and another for our 15th wedding anniversary (OMG, it's been 15 years already?!) sans progeny.

One factor is the age of the kids; when we do the family trips, it's all about keeping them happy. There's no denying it; it's not that we're totally whipped as parents, it's just the reality. So a cottage rental, while still great for the 3 yo, is just a borng yawn for the 8 yo without any friends along for the ride. Disney would be fun, but it's too friggin' hot this time of year, and too, too busy. Just thinking about that makes me hot and tired.

I think the main problem is almost that we are too tired to think or plan what we want to do to rest up. How's that for irony?

I'm going to bed now to dream about planning a dream vacation.

I don't know how everyone does this, keeping up with the blogging, twittering, and buzzing... and the latest kerfuffle with the rankings. Honestly, how DOES everyone keep up? Obviously people have lives, as witnessed by the great photos, videos, comments, friend visits. For me, it's tough enough just to get my blog updated and check out all 100+ of my favourite blogs, before trying to get on here and visit a few friends here and there.

With the spring weather getting nicer, and my family life more active lately, I wasn't so surprised with my plummeting rank these past couple of days, as the only thing I've been able to do lately is visit a few friends in passing, create a few new friendships, and for the life of me, I keep forgetting to CLICK and RATE buzzers as I visit.

The highest rankers must just be eating, sleeping, drinking buzz. Hmmm, I wonder if it helps to drink and buzz.

...or maybe even better that I weren't so old that I'd be able to stay up and watch without feeling any ill effects the next morning.

Have you seen the "I'm F#king Ben Affleck" rebuttal video to Sarah Silverman's "I'm F@king Matt Damon" initial entry? Classic.

I first stumbled onto more than Jimmy's monologue last summer after I watched the "Bourne ultimatum" and was bored at my parents' condo during our renos. So I was surfing the net, and caught the hilarious parody they made with Guillermo (spelling?) and Matt Damon. What a riot.

Since then I've caught another few snippets, including a cute experiment they did featuring 3 - 5 year old kids taste-testing new breakfast cereals.

This show is hilarious. But I don't even bother to tape it (and what the hell is a PVR?) because I know I will not have time to watch later.

So with this strategic programming, I suppose they've reserved it for the really cool kids. Sob.

Well, sitting here blogging before heading to bed. With my glass of Henckel Tinkle (V-day present from the Man) and a nice plate of crackers and cheese. so civilized. Or boring. But I prefer to classify it as civilized. Just a few random words before I head up to bed.
Happy V Day everyone.