Every morning since my classes ended for the semester, and I am home while my husband gets ready for work, the same thing happens. The same pattern is followed.

Husband wakes up. Cannot find socks, because he has not looked in the logical places.

Wakes me up and asks me to find socks.

'They are either in the drawer or the laundry room.' I say every morning. EVERY morning.

Let me rehash that for you, in case you fell asleep while reading it: Husband wakes up every damn morning asking where socks are when they are in the same place every morning. Do you see a pattern? I do.

Because generally, waking me up means that our daughter wakes me up also. Which means that I have to drag my lazy sleep deprived ass into the living room and play mommy about an hour earlier than expected. Not cool.

Another thing you should know about me is that I am generally not friendly when woken up. Not friendly at all. In fact, monsteresque (oh, it's a word now) is one of the adjectives I would use to describe myself when awoken.

Why not just look for the damn socks? I ask. He claims he does, and in his defense, perhaps he does. But they are in the same place every morning. Is he looking in the kitchen cabinets for them? or the refrigerator?

An additional annoyance in the area of laundry, so long as I am writing about something so mundane, is the fact that he never manages to put his clothing in the hamper. EVER. I have 4 hampers placed strategically around the house in order to ensure clothing actually goes in them. Now, this hamper problem would not be an issue if it wasn't for the fact that my husband, a man with three closets full of clothing, will wonder where a specific item is or why it isn't clean.

And hello husband, I am here to tell you that it is in the damn floor wherever you left it, because I can't wash laundry that I don't know is dirty.

I suppose the most annoying thing about this, aside from the fact that he has more clothing than I do and I didn't think people with penises were supposed to have more clothing than people with vaginas, is that he is a very intelligent man. That said, I know it's not that he is a dumbass who is incapable of finding his own socks or of putting them in the hamper. If he was a total dunce, I wouldn't mind locating his socks for him.

But I've chalked it up to the fact that he enjoys waking me up every morning, because he has to wake up. And I don't really blame him, I'm the same way. If I am awake, I think everyone else in the world should have to be awake. But here's the thing, I don't lure them out of bed by acting like I don't know how to find my own mother fucking socks.
that's all. :)