The lovely and super talented SGM(scentedglossymagazines.blogspot.com) inspired an interesting question: if Nathan gave me a “free pass” who would I choose? I guess I’ve never thought much about it because, to be honest, prior to meeting Nathan, I made Haley look like Sister Rose-Marie from Our Lady of Sorrow Catholic Convent.

My husband and I have an unspoken agreement…he knows that I whored my away around my twenties, but doesn’t ask questions, and I don’t offer details. What matters is the present. I’m happily married to a man who rocks my world. However, if I was given the okay, here are my top five:

1. Denzel Washington. Yeah, he’s kind of old now but Denzel, circa 1990/Mo’ Better Blues made me wish that my name was Pauletta. Every time he’s on Oprah, I fall in love with him all over again. He has that “it factor” AND he’s a family man which makes me hot. Just give me twenty minutes Denzel, that’s all I ask. Any longer than that and I think we would have some conflicts – you are a devout Christian and I am a Jew. The minute you started trying to convince me that unless I accepted J.C. as my lord and savior, blah blah blah, I would lose interest. But I think we could accomplish my goals in about twenty minutes.




2. Clive Owen. Clive, I want you to pull my hair and talk dirty. You don’t even have to talk dirty really. Just talk. Jesus, that voice! To be honest, I don’t give a fuck what you say. I actually called Haley the other day to tell her about a new cashier at Trader Joes who looks just like C.O. Unfortunately, Haley won’t step foot in TJs because she’s avoiding phone calls/emails from another cashier that she hooked up with a few months ago. Her loss. VT, he’s all yours.




3. Mark Ruffalo




4. Chris Cornell from Audioslave/Soundgarden. Yeah, so you’re 5’2. Chris, I don’t care. As long as you sing Set if off while you’re unbuttoning my pants and kissing my neck, I can live with the height issue.




5. And my number one free- pass ass: Mark Wahlberg AKA Marky Mark. What is about you Mark? Is it your South Boston background? Your abs? The fact that you portrayed a sweet porn star? Your accent? You should know that I am not alone in my lust for you. There are thousands of thirty-something stay-at-home-moms living in suburbia who would would fight like young brides at a Filenes Basement Bridal Gown Sale to get a piece of you. Something to think about when consulting with security experts.

Come on women, fess up.

Elaine

www.girlgonechild.com