A lot is changing at Chez Pandora in the next month or so. Events started with my PS collapsing in the hallway here at the house (and scaring the living shit right out of me) the day after we'd taken his dad out for respite care for the weekend.

We'd needed some rest desperately, but didn't get the respite care set up in time--the PS wound up in the hospital from Saturday til yesterday afternoon, while I tried to shake off the same illness at home. The doctors think he'd picked up some sort of digestive system bug and I probably got a lighter case of the same thing.

Since we've both hit our breaking point, it's been decided that the PS' dad should go to a nursing home, possibly temporarily, more likely for a permanent stay. This is a hard thing to accept this for both of us--we're both dealing with a lot of grief, feelings of failure (I feel like I failed both the PS and his dad, feeling I should have taken better care of them both but at the same time not knowing what else I could have done) and also dealing with the hole in our family--I still catch myself going down the hall to check on him, sometimes with a can of soda for him. We knew the day was coming, but we didn't expect it to be so soon.

Since our home's members have changed, our home will have to as well--this place falls way outside the new budget, so we'll be getting a smaller place with the same landlord we have now. I'm bracing myself for the packing and the move. Fortunately we're staying in town here so there won't be the more drastic change we'd have if we were moving out of town.

Our minds say that this is for the best, but our hearts say our minds are full of it and we shouldn't have let him go. I know the two will meet eventually; meanwhile it's a struggle and I may not have a lot to say for a little bit.

So, until I get back and start buzzing a bit more around here, I'm leaving you a good handful of cute:

That beautiful little girlie doesn't know it, but she's saving some of my sanity right now--nothing soothes the soul like a handful of sweet fluffy little kitten. We're calling her Little Bean until we find a home for her.