I know that I'm still hanging around the comedy section of the Buzz, but that's because I like being funny. Nevertheless, I have started writing a Cleveland Browns blog and I wanted to get it up on here to show to all of you fine people. Enjoy (if you like football or sports coverage in general)!

If I have not told you individually, then this will be your glorious notification: we won four out of the five political commercials we entered into the contest. Needless to say, everyone in No Dice is bursting at the seams. In fact, Dan exploded, leaving his organs in multiple corners of his home. He will be missed.

Once again, thank you for all of your help. If you voted for us, we definitely owe you one!

I'll let you guys know what we buy when we decide to finally do so (and when the money comes in).

Hey everybody, I'm writing this post because we need your help. By "we" I mean No Dice Films - the filming team that I am a part of with my friends. Currently we are in a contest on a site called GeniusRocket, and if we win all five of the sections we are in, we can win $5,000. We are going to use this money to not only pay off the new camera we got, but to buy a lot of new equipment as well that will help us create movies with a much higher quality. The only way we can do that is with the help of the people voting.

The contest goes like this: we had to create 30-second political commercials for the presidential candidates in 2008. We could choose anyone we wanted from the 18, so we chose five. In order to win the $5,000 (it's $1,000 for every candidate that we win) we need to get the most votes. That's where you guys come in.

All you have to do is go to the links that I put in here, create a free account with GeniusRocket, and vote for our videos (I'll tell you which one is ours in each section). Oh, and we don't actually support all these candidates. We're not going to lie, we're in it for the money.

Here are the five:

Rudy Giuliani - Make the Right Choice with Rudy Giuliani: http://geniusrocket.com/primary-voting-rudy-giuliani-r

Joe Biden - Take a Stand with Joe Biden: http://geniusrocket.com/primary-voting-sen-joe-biden-d

Chris Dodd - Common Sense with Chris Dodd: http://geniusrocket.com/primary-voting-sen-chris-dodd-d

Duncan Hunter - Save Jobs with Duncan Hunter: http://geniusrocket.com/primary-voting-rep-duncan-hunter-r

Mike Gravel - College Students on Mike Gravel: http://geniusrocket.com/primary-voting-mike-gravel-d

I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to not only read this, but to potentially vote for our videos. You definitely do not have to do this, but if you ever have the free time, feel free to go to those links and help us win $5,000.

I'm sorry for doing this so soon after you were all asked to vote for Cre8Buzz, but the voting for this ends December 12th and we need all the help we can get.

This is the link to our YouTube page, which features a lot of the shorts and sketches that we make:

http://www.youtube.com/nodicefilms

Thanks again!

OMAHA -- A tragic day in Nebraska began with a bus full of schoolchildren falling off a 200-ft. high cliff, all to their unexpected demise. What is more startling, and perhaps more upsetting, is the apparent drunkenness of the doomed bus' supposed savior.

Superman, the world's most highly regarded and renowned superhero, was visibly drunk as he attempted to save the bus full of children at 8:30 am. The blue-clad hero was swaying in the sky, wobbling about in a path that was unlike his normal straight-as-a-bullet flight pattern that has earned him such beloved nicknames through his life.

"It was obvious that Supes was completely drunk," says Morton Landau, a witness to the scene. "He couldn't fly straight and when he finally did land, we had to point him in the right direction. Not to mention that we [Landau's family] noticed he smelled like cheap whiskey."

Onlookers say that while Superman initially seemed capable of saving the children, it became evident quickly that the hero was in no shape to save anyone. Utter confusion soon turned to vicious anger, as the hero was heard saying "everyone is out to get me" and "if any of you look at me, I'll kill you."

Through deep sobs and endless tears, Gladys Jones was able to say this: "Superman had no idea what he was doing, but we were all afraid to say anything."

The joyous shouts of the children were quickly stifled as Superman proved he was incapable of bringing the bus back over the side of the steep cliff. Holding onto the back bumper, Superman was unable to get a firm enough grasp on the bus to pull it back over. Witnesses prayed and watched with dropped jaws and pure bewilderment. Unfortunately, those prayers were not answered and he finally let go when he felt the urge to vomit whatever it was he had previously been drinking.

"I smelled that puke," says Jimmy Hayes, another witness. "He was definitely drinking alcohol. I picked that puke up, and I'm selling it on eBay for 50 bucks a bottle."

Pure silence followed until Superman, still stumbling and muttering various obscenities, finally took off into the sky.

"Superman has been under plenty of stress lately," says Richard Pearson, the hero's lawyer. "This is nothing more than an unfortunate accident. Superman was fully aware of his actions and was not under the influence of any kind of alcohol. He did everything he could to save those poor children."

The bus was on its way to a field trip when it slipped on an icy patch of road. The momentum forced the bus to break through the guardrail and increasingly teeter over the edge of the cliff.

Superman was unavailable for comment.

Admittedly, I am a sucker for cute things, even in the movie department. The first two movies in the now never-ending 'Shrek' series were pretty darn good. I knew the third one wasn't going to be some astounding, life-changing experience, but it was a decent way to spend an hour and a half. The jokes were crisp, and Puss In Boots always makes me wish I had a cat that stood on two legs and spoke to me (the Spanish accent is optional). I could go on and on about the weaknesses of this film, but something more important was gripping me the entire time I was watching it.

In the third installment, Shrek and Fiona finally get it on and make some ogre babies. Once I knew Fiona was pregnant, I couldn't stop getting the visual of the two of them conceiving their child out of my head. I figured I was just a disgusting pervert in the worst way. But then I remembered that there are some even sicker people out there creating pornos with Disney characters. It's only a matter of time before they start doing it with Shrek and Fiona - or maybe Donkey and his dragon wife. Really kinky stuff. I thought about finding out for myself on Google, but my girlfriend was with me and I think she would have vomited if the results turned up the way I had hoped.

So...uh, does that kind of stuff exist? Is there a "Shrek and Fiona" sex tape that's going to leaked onto the internet? If anyone knows...you know...my email address...