This is one of my blog posts. I'm taking Ian's advice to post some of my blog posts here. Do give me some comments.

Here goes:

What do you want in your child? Do you want a child who is very obedient?

Every parent would love to have children who are very obedient. Who wouldn’t? At least, it would save you all the yelling, spanking, headaches and heartbreaks. The very obedient child would listen when you talk, do whatever you want him to do and follow instructions. Wouldn’t it be perfect to have this type of children?

Think again.

I know of a boy who would shrug his shoulders and say “I don’t know. Ask my mummy.” every time a question is asked including questions like “What do you like?” and “Which do you prefer?” He would do whatever his mother asks him to do and to me, he doesn’t have a mind of his own and he is just like a robot being remote controlled. I for one would not want my children to be THAT obedient.

Read on.

I attended a workshop on Sxual Abuse Prevention by PS The Children one Sunday and that workshop makes me think a lot about how we train our children. Obedience is one trait that would benefit the sx offender. I was shocked to know that 85% of the sx offenders are people the children know and love while 15% are strangers. So, when we teach our children to obey their parents or elderly and do whatever they say, we are actually teaching them that it is wrong to say “NO” when they find certain touches to be bad and uncomfortable. Many cases of child sx abuse involve father and daughter which means children are not even safe in their own home!

We were taught to teach our children this “Say No, Run and Tell” when they feel uncomfortable to someone’s touch or when they feel uncomfortable seeing something or when they feel something is not right.

So, when your children say “NO” to you, we should feel happy that they dare to speak up when they dislike something and when your children have demands, we as parents should feel happy that they know what they want. As long as the children know their limits and that we do not give in to each and every of their demand, I would say having children who are not “merely following instructions without thinking” is great.