I'm going to be running a short story contest on my blog soon. I haven't worked out all of the details yet because I'm trying to get an idea of how many people would be interested in entering (or helping me judge).

The general, unpolished plan is for a month long contest. Entries must be a minimum of 1000 words. Ideally, a judging panel will view anonymous entries and discuss which one should be the winner. I would probably post some (or all) of the entries on my blog when the contest ends and the prizes would probably be some Amazon vouchers (or an equal sum paid into a paypal account). I'm also considering two categories - adults and teens.

If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment. If you would like to enter or are interested in joining the judging panel, please let me know.

I have a love/hate relationship with Wordpress at the moment. I've been working on moving my writing blog over to wordpress. Easy enough you might think. Um, NO!

I seem to be really unlucky when it comes to plugins and the like, I've spent so long trying to "fix" my blog, that I still haven't actually finished it. By that I mean the links, my blogroll, etc. I haven't even had the chance to comment on all of my favourite blogs, I've been so busy trying not to go insane. Every day seems to bring some new blogging joy. Lucky I'm addicted to blogging or I would have given up ages ago...

Anything that can go wrong, has gone wrong, but at least I'm learning a little bit more about how to use wordpress I suppose. Always look on the bright side and all that jazz. I am happy though because I feel like I have a brand new blog now :D

She set the final bowl of food on the table and eased herself into her seat with a contented sigh. Looking around the room with a self-satisfied grin, she gestured to the mountains of food on the table.

“What are you all waiting for? Dig in.”

The voices around her gave her thanks and chatted merrily together. She loved when the girls got together for dinner. It was always a pleasure, even if they did waste so much food. She seemed to be the only one who ever ate anything for some reason. But she loved being the hostess. She loved the companionship even though she always wished they would go away before the meal was over. It was either that or end up sitting in silence every night. Luckily, they visited her more regularly now although she wished they would give her some more notice.

All the same, it was better than being alone. But they were so noisy. She didn’t want the neighbours to knock on her door yet again asking her to keep the noise down. She couldn’t help it if the girls were loud. She wasn’t loud. It wasn’t her fault. But still they got louder and louder, one voice shrieking to be heard over the others. It was always the way. It always poured bitter feelings on a lovely evening.

She interrupted the conversation to ask them to quiet down. One by one they turned on her, calling her stupid, telling her she was worthless. She was nothing without them. She could never be anything without them. How dare she try to silence them? Who did she think she was? The truth was, she couldn’t think. At least, she couldn’t think straight when they were around. They shouted over her, over each other, tried to force themselves to the front, always trying to outdo each other, always trying to take over. She couldn’t handle it for long.

The harsh voices soothed to a dull roar as she held her head in her hands. So many voices. Shaking her head, she tried to push them away. Her head ached with the effort; it felt like so much pressure on her temples, on her mind. She sighed with relief as the shouts faded to whispers and looked around her. She looked at the empty chairs, the empty plates, listened to the fading voices and wondered why she had to be alone.

All alone...except for the voices. And the constant reminders that without them, she would be nothing. That was why her pills were still in that little plastic container. If she took them, she would be entirely alone. She couldn’t let that happen. Not yet. She didn’t want to be by herself. No matter how painful the voices were, she needed them with her for a little while longer.

I looked into her eyes, fascinated by the way the tears made those sapphire blue stars turn to a shiny aquamarine. I concentrated on the black streaks of mascara running from her eyelashes with her salty tears. Anything to avoid such a look of utter devastation on the face of someone I loved so deeply. I held my ice-cold gaze as best I could, never wavering, never faltering. Her lips trembled as she tried to speak and I pitied her, for all she had done. But I couldn’t let her see my weakness. I had decided, I had to go through with it.

“Please David, just listen to me…let me explain. Please,” she whimpered, clawing pathetically at my sleeve.

I stood up and eyed her scornfully. Did she really think it was so easy? Did she think I would forget if she explained why? I could never understand, never let go, and never forgive. I could see that she hadn’t believed me. She didn’t really think that I could leave her. Not now, not ever. But I had to go. She had ruined everything we had built together. I could never trust her again. Not after this. She actually thought we still had a chance, I could tell by the look on her face. She was in pain but her heart wasn’t broken yet. I could tell because she had broken mine. I knew what that looked like, knew what it felt like. She wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Desperation filled those beautiful, lying eyes. “We can have a break, talk about things tomorrow. We’ll get through this. We’ll be okay.”

I shook my head determinedly. “Not this time.” I looked at the door, the way out of this hell and onto the rest of my life. As if she sensed my thoughts, her sobs grew hysterical. Realization dawned on the face I had kissed so many times, the face that had looked me in the eye and told me I could trust her. The face that had proved me wrong. Fear mixed with disbelief echoed her cries. My heart softened until I remembered. The harsh reality hit me in the pit of my stomach and twisted my insides with an iron grip.

What could I do? What choice did I have? I could tell her how hurt I was. I could tell her how much I had loved her. I could even tell her how big of a betrayal her lies were. But it would accomplish nothing. So I walked out that door. Never looked back. Left it all unsaid.

I've had a field day today on my good friend Cardiogirl's blog. She installed a new audio widget so that we could hear her voice and she could hear ours. Basically, we have to ring up and leave a message. It's too funny hearing people you've been chatting to online speak for the first time!!

Even I left an audio message, although I truely embarrassed myself. I discovered I sound like a little boy on the phone...interesting! Anyway, I wish I could use the same thing on my blog. My wordpress blog doesn't allow widgets or anything and my other blog isn't really for people to chat on so I guess I'll just have to make do with Cardiogirl's one instead. If you happen to pass through her blog, leave an audio message, please ;)