The last few weeks have been rough.
What should have been a happy, joyful time has made me sad and angry. My cousin, who is more like a sister, had twins on the 12th of Sept. After a hard, troublesome pregnancy, she gave birth to two beautiful boys. Logan and Riley were 3 months early, but my cousin was assured that they were okay. Doctors told her that the boys had the ‘typical’ problems that babies born this early have. Everything seemed to be okay, then we get a call that Riley died. He died. A baby. I am so angry. I am not a religious person. I’m not really sure what I believe in as far as our ‘creator’. I figure there must be something beyond this place, someone that created all of this, but not sure what it is. This is where my anger starts. If there is a God, why take a baby? Why give Alicia hope after all the problems she went through during the pregnancy (the boys had twin to twin transfusion)? Why let him make it through the laser surgery and give them all that hope, just to have him die 4 days after his birth?? I know I will get the typical god has a plan.. whatever.
I have been holding on the this anger inside for the last few weeks. Then yesterday morning, I get a call that a woman I am fairly close to has died. I am part of an organization called the International Order of Job’s Daughters. These people are my extended family. The woman that died, was in our bethel. Her daughter is our Honored Queen (the head of the Bethel). Sylvia drove my sister everywhere; she would do anything for these girls. She was a wonderful person. She touched my life in so many ways. She was only 49. FOURTY NINE!! Younger than my mom. She dropped dead, opening the door to let the paramedics in!! Her daughter is only 16. I can’t imagine losing my mom at 28, let alone 16. So, the anger starts again. I’m sad that she is gone. I am angry that she is gone. Last night we met at the lodge, to support each other, to find out exactly what happened, to cry. I can’t help but be angry. I’m sure that this blog has taken the turn into brain downloading ramble, but that’s kind of what I need.

I guess what I am getting at is this. God, if you believe in him/her/it sees it fit to keep alive child molesters, Charles Manson, and Osama bin Laden, but the world needed less babies and wonderful women who make a difference in young girls’ lives?

On the radio this morning as i was driving to school, they mentioned a little snippet about the Jena 6 in Louisiana.. I dont know a whole lot, but i found a petition with a little letter than says a lot about it! I cannot fathom that this type of thing still goes on in the US. I guess i live in a rose tinted bubble!!
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Dear friend,
I just learned about a case of segregation-era oppression happening today in Jena, Louisiana. I signed onto ColorOfChange.org's campaign for justice in Jena, and wanted to invite you to do the same.

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=2137-285373

Last fall in Jena, the day after two Black high school students sat beneath the "white tree" on their campus, nooses were hung from the tree. When the superintendent dismissed the nooses as a "prank," more Black students sat under the tree in protest. The District Attorney then came to the school accompanied by the town's police and demanded that the students end their protest, telling them, "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke of my pen."

A series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder.

It's a story that reads like one from the Jim Crow era, when judges, lawyers and all-white juries used the justice system to keep blacks in "their place." But it's happening today. The families of these young men are fighting back, but the story has gotten minimal press. Together, we can make sure their story is told and that the Governor of Louisiana intervenes and provides justice for the Jena 6. It starts now. Please join me:

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=2137-285373

The noose-hanging incident and the DA's visit to the school set the stage for everything that followed. Racial tension escalated over the next couple of months, and on November 30, the main academic building of Jena High School was burned down in an unsolved fire. Later the same weekend, a black student was beaten up by white students at a party. The next day, black students at a convenience store were threatened by a young white man with a shotgun. They wrestled the gun from him and ran away. While no charges were filed against the white man, the students were later arrested for the theft of the gun.

That Monday at school, a white student, who had been a vocal supporter of the students who hung the nooses, taunted the black student who was beaten up at the off-campus party and allegedly called several black students "nigger." After lunch, he was knocked down, punched and kicked by black students. He was taken to the hospital, but was released and was well enough to go to a social event that evening.

Six Black Jena High students, Robert Bailey (17), Theo Shaw (17), Carwin Jones (18), Bryant Purvis (17), Mychal Bell (16) and an unidentified minor, were expelled from school, arrested and charged with second-degree attempted murder. The first trial ended last month, and Mychal Bell, who has been in prison since December, was convicted of aggravated battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated battery (both felonies) by an all-white jury in a trial where his public defender called no witnesses. During his trial, Mychal's parents were ordered not to speak to the media and the court prohibited protests from taking place near the courtroom or where the judge could see them.

Mychal is scheduled to be sentenced on July 31st, and could go to jail for 22 years. Theo Shaw's trial is next. He will finally make bail this week.

The Jena Six are lucky to have parents and loved ones who are fighting tooth and nail to free them. They have been threatened but they are standing strong. We know that if the families have to go it alone, their sons will be a long time coming home. But if we act now, we can make a difference.

Join me in demanding that Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco get involved to make sure that justice is served for Mychal Bell, and that DA Reed Walters drop the charges against the 5 boys who have not yet gone to trial.

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=2137-285373

Thanks.

I've noticed…

Most girls that say they hate fake "bitches" are in fact the FAKEST of them all! We've all heard the tirade, "I hate fake bitches, I will tell you what I think to your face" Yeah, so when you talk shit behind someone's back, that's not being fake? When you lie to your "best" friend, that's not fake? I don't understand..

I get irritated when people stare at me. I know that I have tattoos, a really big one on my foot. I don't mind people looking at it, asking about it, but I HATE when people stare. Not just stare, but stare then nudge the person next to them so they can stare at me too!! Am I a piece of meat? Am I a couch your about to purchase? NO! I am a person.. Talk to me, ask me about it, or just say nice tattoo (or shitty tattoo for that matter) or just look and look away.

There isn't anything good on TV during the day.

In other news, I went yesterday and got my books for school. UGH. It was not a fun experience, BUT I am super excited about class!! It starts in a week, and it can't come soon enough. I'm sure that in a few weeks I will be bitching that I'm over it, but for now I'm excited!!

Don't really have much going on today. I think I'm going to go back to sleep!