I was walking through "the fucking-shitty place" (...that's what I call Walmart). I was in a bad mood: I had JUST got off of a crazy day at work; my whole body was aching. I hate shopping, but I had to stop by for some more work clothes & couple other items & talked myself into do'n it while I was in town.

While there I ran into a couple of young guys (brothers: Wendall [the elder-18...who's a str8 up gangsta on the g'tar {...that's southern for "guitar"}] and Westley [the younger--16]. I know them from church; they're some of my favorite homies. I hadn't seen them in a while so took a minute to catch up with them. They asked me what I was up to/shopping for so I rolled my eyes and briefed through my mental shopping list--the last item mentioned being "the perfect cactus".

Wendall laughed---he's just used to my randomness. Westley just kinda looked at me and said: "...wha?...Why?"

"Oh Wesley," I reply, "perhaps, one day, when you're older and have had your heart broken.....no dude I mean, really broken. I'm not talk'n about a bad break up: I'm talk'n about that one....I can't explain it but you'll know what I mean. You might think you know now but trust me....you'll look back to this conversation several years from now and think now I know what the fuck Lance was talking about."

So, from that point I had pretty much obligated myself into divulging all of the juicy details. I went on and told them about Gracie: my ex girlfriend, but not just an ex...she's "that" ex girlfriend.

I don't know---I'm not even gonna get into what all happened and to be honest I'm still not sure & can't really explain what the fuck happened. She was awesome! Just an awesome girl, but we didn't work out. We mixed like oil and water--even though we really loved each other.

During the duration of our relationship, I set out on the quest to find the perfect cactus. I didn't tell her, but she noticed that I'd search through any and every gardening place we were ever around. Finally she asked, "...what are you looking for? A flower or something." I told her (but was reluctant because it just felt silly to admit for some reason).

About a week later she surprised me with a cactus that---well, it looked exactly like the one I was looking for! I secretly go attached to it. Never really named it but often called it "the boy" or "junior". Unfortunately, she was cactus-sitting it for me when we broke up. ....the break up was so horrible that I wouldn't dare speak to her...ever again....well, maybe one day but it won't be anytime soon.

Every since then ( for about 5 years) I've secretly continued my search for the perfect cactus. And, FINALLY found that one a couple weeks ago at a Home Depot in Brunswick GA.

His/it's name is Oscar and keeps me company on the road and here at the Hotel while I'm out here in Montezuma Ga, for work.