cre8Buzz Blog

I was diggin’ in the cre8Buzz blog archives and this post got my attention. So, I’m bringin’ it back. It was a good reminder for me. As things get hectic round here, or in life I GOTTA remember this more often. It’s too easy to forget. I’m an emotional Ant!

—– Original Post “React or Respond” 2/27/07—–

So, check it. About 10 years ago . . . damn make that 13 years ago. Dang, I’m gitten old. Anyway, I’m coaching Pop-Warner football. I got the baddest bunch of 12 year olds ya ever seen. We had a slammin team, snap! We were good because we had rules. Everyone knew what to expect. They knew what they could expect from me and I knew what to expect from them. It is what made us good.

One of the simple rules was, if ya ain’t gonna make practice and you were in school that day, ya gotta call and tell me or you don’t play on Sat. It was simple.

Well, one day Johnson, didn’t show up for practice. When I asked the rest of team where he was, like any bunch of 12 year olders, they said:

“I dunno, he was in school.”

So, I walked my skinny but over to the payphone! To those of you born after 1990, we actually had to pay for calls and use a phone that was stuck on a pole on the side of the road. Movin on, I call Johnson and I’m like:

“Dawg, where are you? You were in school, but ya ain’t here on the field. Whas up?”

Johnson said he didn’t feel good. I asked why he didn’t call and he said he forgot. Of course I was like:

“ya gotta get down here if ya wanna play on Sat. You know the rules.”

Johnson said OK, and we hung up. Well about an hour later, I am talking to the team in the huddle and one of the kids says:

“Isn’t that Johnson’s mom? She looks pissed!”

I turn around and dang sure is! She is MAD!!!! She starts stomping across the field, headed straight for me. I’m thinking, she is fired up! As I see her marchin’ toward me, I’m thinking what the heck am I gonna do? I know why she is mad. I know what she wants to talk about. I know I’m right; her son didn’t follow the rules, so as far as I’m concerned she ain’t got nothin to say. But, she is the mother of one of my players, I’m only 23 and still a kid. I’m a bit intimidated. I turn back to the team and get back to coaching. When, Mrs. Johnson barks:

“I need to talk to you, NOW!”

I freeze, think for a second and then RESPOND!

I say:

“I am sorry Mrs. Johnson, but I have 15 other kids I am responsible for right now. But if you like, it would be my pleasure to talk with you at the end of practice.”

She looked at me, all the expression left her face and she said:

“OK, that will be fine.” and she walked off the field.

Why am I givin up this 411? Because, instead of responding, I could have REACTED! I could have gotten into it with her right there on the field. I could have embarrassed me, angered her even more and sent a horrible message to all my little playa’s

Think about it ya’ll, she was marching across the field because she thought I was disrespectin her son. By taking the time and thinking about my RESPONSE and not REACTING it dawned on me that she didn’t want to be seen as impacting the rest of the kids. So by highlighting the fact that I was busy with 15 other boys immediatly disarmed her and allowed me to finish coaching.

Having time to cool off, by the time practice was over, Mrs Johnson and I had a nice amiable conversation.

You and your customers are gonna have disagreements, folks are gonna leave nasty comments on your blog, employees and bosses are gonna piss ya off. Ya gotta expect that, BUT you do have a choice. Are ya gonna RESPOND or are ya gonna REACT?

Choose carefully dawg, for either decision will have very, very, very different outcomes!