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RSS Manic Mom, Moms

 I followed Momma down the hall. She knelt down to Daddy.
Momma: Fred, what’s the matter?
Dad: I don’t know, I’m all sweaty & dizzy. I just don’t feel so good.
Momma: Did you eat something bad?
Dad: I don’t think so.
Momma: What can I do? What can I get you?
Dad: I think you need to go get Terry.
Terry was our friend that lived next door. He was a paramedic & he & his wife had watched me a few times when Mom & Dad were at the Doctor’s office. Momma told me to hurry as fast as I could. Now I just have to explain that their house was right next door. But, it seemed to have taken FOREVER to get there. And while I was running a million things ran through my mind. It all depended on me right now. I was the one to save him. In my mind it made perfect sense.
I ran up to the door & pounded as loud as I possibly could. I even rang the door bell. I figured now was not the time to play polite. Terry opened the door a little miffed at who the hell is at his door so early in the morning.
Terry: Sheila? Honey what’s the matter, is it your Mom? Is she ok?
Me: Mom’s fine it’s Daddy…You have to come RIGHT NOW!
I grabbed at his arm & tugged. I saw Kim out of the corner of my eye as I hopped off the porch with him in tow. We didn’t even speak at we crossed yards.
When we got there Momma was talking to Daddy.
Momma: You know I can’t remember phone numbers.
Daddy: That’s ok it’s *******.
I watched Momma hobble to the phone shaking like a leaf. She called an aunt & the preacher. We want to believe Daddy wasn’t feeling much pain as he rattled off numerous phone numbers for Momma to call. He wanted the preacher there, I couldn’t understand.
Terry called for an ambulance & while we waited Terry laid Daddy down on the ground. I like a child that I was started running up & down the hallway screaming. Screaming!!! I still remember the stomach ache I felt, the loss of control.
My aunt & the Preacher arrived & the preacher talked with my Dad. I for the life of me can not remember what was said. After the paramedics came the preacher came into the room & prayed with me. I remember bits & pieces. I know I was screaming why & no & how can God do this! I remember trashing everything in my room & then crying. I later felt like maybe my outbursts caused God to take away Daddy. Like it was my punishment.
We walked back in the living room & my other aunt was there too. She was holding Momma back & they were strapping Dad to a board to transport him into the ambulance. Momma asked Terry to go with him & he did. Momma went to get clothes on & there I was standing in Our living room all alone. I was by myself, just me, our furnishings & a blood stain left on the floor. I remember wanting to keep that blood stain somehow. That was my Daddy’s blood, his life. One of my aunts later cleaned it off of the carpet & I hated her for it. I felt like it was erasing what was left.
We got into my aunt’s truck & I listened to them talk about how strong Dad is & he can get through anything. Blah, Blah, Blah. On the street before we would need to take to arrive at the hospital I felt this shiver. This sense of being touched, like something went though my body & left. It was Daddy, i swear it was. For the first time since I screamed & busted things up in my room I had something to say.
Me: Daddy’s gone.
Momma: What?
Me: Daddy is dead Momma.
Momma: No he’s not….Don’t say that. Why would you say that?
She started screaming & crying. We arrived & rushed into the emergency room. We saw Terry & he walked over to us. The look on his face, the tears in his eyes said everything we needed to know. Momma felt faint & Terry had to hold her up & walk her to a chair. A nurse took me to a chair to & I turned my head & there they were. Daddy’s legs. there he was just laying there with no life at all. Just an empty shell. All his memories gone. All his dreams & passions gone.
Me: There’s Daddy.
Terry was upset that I had seen him laying on the bed like that. He prayed with me & Momma. I couldn’t think of God. All I could think of that very moment was that my life had just changed. Just 2 hours before my Daddy woke me up & told me good job. He was supposed to watch me this morning at rehearsal. It was Holiday time, what about this summer. What about my first date, graduation. What’s going to happen when I graduate or get married. Who is going to help me take care of Momma.

August 8, 2008 |


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2 Comments so far


  1. Half-Past Kissin' Time August 8, 2008 10:09 pm   

    Powerful stuff, MM. I’m sorry you had to go through this.

  2. avatar
    trysh    , Crafting August 9, 2008 7:46 pm   

    Your story really touched my heart. What a terrible and unfathomable thing to go through - my heart goes out to you.
    Really highlights how things can change in an instant - so never ever pass up that opportunity to say I love you - to make that call when you think of it - thanks so much for sharing this.

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